Just Me, Maffy

Training

2009-12-18T11:08:00.000-08:00

With the goal of being able to do the Seattle Half Marathon next November, I've started training and working with a trainer. I am devastated with the amount of weight I have gained, and it's the worst time to try and lose it, but I am just going to keep working out and hopefully get my eating on track after xmas(but trying to at least maintain some control during he holidays).

The odd thing is that I'm not feeling completely out of control right now, but I am still not feeling quite myself. Not sure how to pull it all together, but I think that working out helps. At least for an hour per day I am not worrying about anything. I'm just listening to an eclectic mix of music and pushing myself to try a little harder at something that I find very difficult. Some people get a sort of high from working out. For me, it's like getting the kids to run around so that they're so exhausted they go to bed without complaining. I run and bike, etc., so that I just tire myself out so that I can sleep more easily at night and feel more refreshed in the morning. Wish I got a high from doing it, but I just feel like such a dork, since doing the simplest things - like running 2 miles - is a major feat for me.

Tonight is the last night of Channukah. The last candle will be lit tonight. I'll miss those lights, and the ritual of lighting them with my husband, but I will put the meditations we use from ritualwell.org into the box with the menorah so that I have them with me next year, wherever we end up lighting.

Out of control

2009-12-12T02:08:00.000-08:00

Feeling out of control these days - not just the normal holiday feasting, but just completely out of touch with myself and what I need and when too much is too much.

I got sick this week, and I think it had more to do with over-indulging and not sleeping, and just being crazy than with any sort of bug going around. It's a hard time to try and get a hold on the reins, but I have to do it.

Signed with a trainer, and it's going to be hard, but I'm determined to pull myself out of this downward spiral.

Maybe I'll use this blog now to chart the emotional side of my progress in that regard. Hmm. It could be a good thing for me to do something daily that is stress free (even if it reports on feelings of stress...)

Thanks for Thanksgiving

2009-11-20T21:10:00.000-08:00

My DH is coming into the city tonight. If he's not exhausted when he gets here, we're going to work on the menu for Thanksgiving. We'll have the family here for the week, so there's lots of cleaning and organizing to do in preparation. Luckily, I have tomorrow to do that while he's at Santa class at Nordstrom! Yes, my DH is a Nordstrom Santa. He is so wonderful that Santa is the perfect persona for him.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to get all the homework done I can for school, and doing little things to make the cleaning/organizing easier to do tomorrow. Sunday, we head back to the eastside to go to "Meet the Biscotti's" at Lincoln Square. Should be fun -- an interactive "mafia" musical.

Happy Holidays!!

Coding in a cloud

2009-10-15T09:57:00.000-07:00

So, a friend at work (my pt job writing - no word on a solid full-time coding gig, yet) told me about a seminar at Google in Fremont. They're going to be talking about their applications. Since Google is one of the big names in cloud computing, I am expecting to find out more about a dev's life in the cloud, but we'll see. Right now, I'm just expecting information on technologies I love.

It's hard being exiled to MS-only environments. If it weren't for school, where I'm working on PHP and home, where I work in Eclipse/Java, I'd be stuck in the MS-worldview. That would be just too, too sad.

But it's a happy day. I moved from waitlist to definite seat at the seminar Monday night.

Hey, suddenly, life is good. :)

Halloween approaches

2009-10-08T12:23:00.000-07:00

Finally sent out an invite for a halloween party. Since my DH will be working as the zombie host for a haunted house, leaving Halloween night at 9pm, it'll be nice to have company - assuming anyone comes!

My cousin is in town, and I'm hoping that she and her husband can make it to the party, but I'm not sure. I don't have her email address at work, so I will send her the invite when I get home tonight.

Right now, the menu for the event looks like I'll have one non-vegetarian stew (probably a beef stew) and an Indian vegetable stew. I'll make brown and white rice, and my DH's favorite bread. For dessert, I found a chai-spiced mango bread pudding that looks worth a try, and it's not high calorie, which is a very good thing. I've had a couple of pretty good days so far, and I want to stay on track to get some of this extra weight off so I can enjoy Thanksgiving.

Looking forward to wearing jeans that don't bite! :)

Mad Hatter Day

2009-10-07T11:20:00.000-07:00

Next year, if all goes well, I want to have a Mad Hatter Day party. Mad Hatter Day was actually yesterday. See http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~ari/madHatter.html for a wonderful description of this holiday.

Looks like a Halloween Party is going to happen after all. I was worried that I'd be too busy with work and school to help my DH out, and he has so much on his plate already with prepping for Santa photos and prospective jobs, and working as a zombie host at a haunted house. However, he said he'd still like to go through with it since he has to leave on Halloween night to head to the haunted house at 9pm for their last night of frights. This way, there'll be people there with me to give candy to the kids and keep me company.

Second week of school, and only a few exercises done. I will need to step it up if I am going to do well in my classes.

Yesterday was a good day for diet, though not much exercise. Today, I'll walk to school and then down to a party at the Hyatt afterward to gawk at expensive condos that a friend is selling above the hotel. Not a bad day. :)

work and school

2009-10-06T12:06:00.001-07:00

It is so hard getting used to being back in school after just a few weeks off. I have a ton of homework and regular work and am even attempting to work on an independent project with a friend. All this is getting to me, and making me a bit cranky. It doesn't help that I'm stress eating, and need to cut that out immediately! I have to go home for Thanksgiving, and I don't want to roll down to LA, so I'd better get it together fast!

My hubby is working as a zombie host for a haunted house, so our schedule together is pretty difficult, too. He's coming into the city tonight, and I'll get to see him for a couple of days, and then he's off Thurs->Saturday working his magic for the audience at the haunted house. He's such a good actor that it makes it easier not getting to go to the theater (no $$ for such things these days) when he can actually perform! I have to go to the house sometime and see him in action.

Went to a talk at Molbak's about what we should be doing now, and then in March and then in May wrt our tomato plants. I was planning on coming back to the city after a meeting on the eastside on Thursday, but I may go back to the house if only to get the hoses up and prep the ground for some serious digging and prepping for the winter. I'm sure our neighbors would be pleased if we did something with the mess of a garden we have out there now. If we prep while the weather is nice (sunny and cold) as opposed to when the rains come, it'll be easier. Doing some work outside would be good for me in that it would keep me out of the kitchen!

Well, back to real work. I have to be here until 5:30pm today, but then I head home to see my DH.

On again off again

2009-09-03T23:36:00.000-07:00

School is finally out, and I did well, though it was tougher to get to the finish line than I expected. I'm enjoying web development, but have my doubts about its ability to help me find a job when I'm through. The process of working on development projects while I'm out of work, though, is a good thing. It keeps me in the industry, even though I'm paying for the privilege instead of getting paid. That's the kicker.

There's a chance I'll have some work on a project basis soon. School has been good for giving me some sort of schedule, but having work and real deadlines will be good for me. It's amazing how easy it has been for me to slack off in just a few months.

I'm creating a work-related site. It won't be a blog, per se, but more of a showcase for projects I do either for school or work as an advertisement of sorts for my services. I've gotten the name "codestress", and will use that as my domain name. A friend from school created a logo for me, and I'm going to work on that site as soon as I find out about the project that may come my way for work.

I had an altercation with a stick blender, and the blender won. I have an injured index finger that is bloody and painful, but the doctor said it should heal on its own in about a month. For now, I'm going to change my bandage, clean off my keyboard, and head to bed.

Good night!

back from hiatus

2009-07-13T15:36:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been to NYC and back again. School has started and I'm swamped with good work. It is fun getting some new skills and becoming more excited about technology. It seemed like such a drudge for a while, but now it's a lot of fun again, and I'm so glad!

Classes are on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so I have Mon/Wed/Fri to take care of other things. So, eventually, when I'm not giving into my natural laziness, I should be able to get a bit of work done around the house.

Saw UP this past weekend with my husband. I expected funny, but I didn't expect touching. I was tearing up more than once during a cartoon! Who'd a thunk it? It was wonderful, and I'm glad we went - even though I had a ton of homework to complete, and didn't really have the time. It's good to do non-work things together every once in a while to remember that we got married because we enjoy spending time together!

Nothing much else is new. Hopefully, my new found excitement in technology will result in some work coming my way soon, and life can go back to what I used to see as "normal".

Just chillin'

2009-06-17T23:43:00.000-07:00

Rob Brezsny does it again:

The books of psychologist Carl Jung provide crucial insights into the nature of the unconscious mind. To the degree that I have any skill in deciphering the part of human intelligence that works in mysterious, secretive ways, I owe a great debt to him. I want to tell you an anecdote about him that may be useful. Once, as an adult, Jung took a break from work to go strolling on a beach. While meandering, he was overcome with a spontaneous impulse to build things as he did when he was a kid. He gathered some stones and sticks and used them to construct a miniature scene, including a church. As he finished, he was visited by a flood of novel intuitions about his life. He concluded that his childlike play had called forth these revelations from his unconscious mind. I suggest you try a similar tack, Gemini: To access important information that your deep mind has been sequestering, go play a while.

I am feeling rather burned out in the job search. After so many years doing the same thing, I'm actually glad I have time for a little bit of a break - not too much, or the stress of not working will be too great - but enough so that I can get excited again about programming, technology and all the things that kept me going for so long. Right now, I just want to enjoy the summer weather and novels and spending time with the ones I love. Hopefully, my "deep mind" will show me some direction after this little respite. At least, I hope so.

Through the looking glass

2009-05-30T23:52:00.000-07:00

Well, life has been strange enough that my "Doogie Howser" blog has taken a back seat. I can't say what it is I have been doing - because I feel a bit at sea. I have been looking into retraining options, and looking for work, and not doing much around the house, and trying to be supportive to my DH. He's started a new business - he's the local ice cream guy! He's so wonderful, and he really enjoys it, but his little ice cream truck has a bunch of problems. He had to cut his route short today because it stopped working, and this is one of our hottest weekends. It's really sad. He's going to try and work on it tomorrow. If he can't fix it, it's back to the mechanic.

I'm taking some time off of the job search to head home to see my big brother and the rest of my family back east. I'm looking forward to the people and the food, and hope the trip goes well. It would be more fun to go back there with money, but at least I'll be able to see people, and a slice of pizza isn't that much (and it's the best thing I can imagine having when I'm in NJ).

Hopefully, I'll spend more time reflecting and getting in touch with whatever the future holds. I'm sure there's a lesson in there somewhere for me, and I want to learn whatever it is. I suppose time will tell, but I would like to be more conscious of the changes and maybe that would make me feel better on this wild ride.

More when I return...

Shakespeare Knew Everything

2009-05-09T21:36:00.001-07:00

SONNET 29
When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

Upson Downs

2009-05-07T23:26:00.000-07:00

Well, I've had some set backs, some bad behavior, and, finally, an up day.

I interviewed for a job that would have had me working with one of my favorite people in the whole world, and - bonus! - an old friend from years ago. I didn't get it. Instead of behaving like an adult, I let myself dive down into a depression. I overate. I did no exercise. I did nothing to help myself - except for making two appointments.

The first was with Worksource to find out what kind of services they provide, and to learn more about unemployment, since I don't seem to be able to get the hang of filing on time, and keeping notes in the right way. The second was with Seattle Central Community College, where I met with the worker retraining group. After that meeting, I actually felt better. I feel like there's a way to upgrade my skills so I can more easily find a job, while keeping unemployment - and maybe even doing it better.

My DH wants to go to school, too, but I don't know if the worker retraining is something he wants to do or will be able to do - at least at the community college here in town. He has his stock trading that he does from home on the eastside in the morning, and the trek over here to the city may be too much. We'll talk about it this weekend. He should be here sometime tonight.

Why is he coming on a Thursday night? Because tomorrow is the opening day for Star Trek, and we're going to head to a matinee to save money and, hopefully, avoid the crowds that will surely be there for the evening performances.

Today was my first "good to myself" day in a long time. I didn't overeat, and I took a bubble bath. Having a non-caloric treat is a good start for leading a more reasonable life, and not undoing anything good I do.

Well, I'd better be off to bed for dreams of "Live long and prosper" - and the hope that such dreams come true for my DH and for me.

Interview Wednesday

2009-04-23T15:16:00.000-07:00

Got an interview for that tech writing job. We'll see how it goes. I know I can do the job, but that doesn't mean I will get the job, or even that I should take the job. Possibilities, probabilities, choices, decisions...everything just makes me want to take a nap.

Gorgeous day here in Seattle. I'm heading out to the deck to ignore the mess, read my book, and have some coffee. It's too late in the day for me to be drinking coffee, but I just can't resist. Tomorrow, I'll get a new battery for my camera, and new planner pages from Franklin Covey. They're having a special where they're giving free planner pages to people who are out of work.

But today, I'll just spend time with a mystery and an americano...

Where does the time go...

2009-04-20T01:17:00.000-07:00

So many plans, and so much time, but it doesn't feel that way. Somehow, time just gets away from me.

I had a phone interview for a tech writing job. I should hear something next week. I also did some research into certificates in web development, and what I would need to do that while on unemployment. Since it's retraining, I should be able to do it, and get some ASL classes in, too, I hope. It's not often that I have daytime hours to take classes, and the ASL classes are only offered during the day, so I'd like to take what I can toward an interpreter's certificate while I have the time.

Passover was wonderful, and a quick trip. My favorite kitty sitter is just too expensive now that I'm not working, so I like to keep trips short. It's always wonderful seeing family, and the trip home was uneventful. My DH gave up his seat on the return flight to Seattle, and got an extra ticket plus a bonus so we should be able to get back east this June. I'm anxious to see my brother, and my cousin said we could crash with her family while we're in town. That makes it much more feasible, since hotel rates in NYC are far from affordable when there's no regular income happening.

Had a wonderful night tonight. I went to a friend's house for dinner and a quick game of Texas Hold'em Dreidel. What a blast. I used to see these folks every day at work, but now I miss them all the time. It was so very good to just hang out with them again, though I did wish I also had to head to work tomorrow. Oh, well. Soon enough, I'm sure.

Weight is heading in the right direction, anyway, so I'm getting back on track, but still taking things one day at a time. Some days I have so much energy, and some days I could sleep all day long. Here's hoping that the coming week brings good news and happy tidings for everyone.

Playing catch-up

2009-04-06T20:03:00.000-07:00

Celebrating Shabbat was wonderful - but a little overwhelming. That night, we had a lovely dinner and discussion, and my DH played poker with the teens for a while, too. It was a very cozy evening, and the next day was action-packed. If it were anything other than Shabbat, I would have said a debauch, since the food and drink didn't stop all day. We walked from house to house, and I met some amazing people, but was just pooped by the time I got home. My DH had already left for the eastside, so we didn't get to see each other that day. That was not optimal, but there's just so much wonderful stuff you can fit in a single day.

The following week was a bit of a roller coaster. Emotionally, I'm not as consistent as I wish I were. I am still deciding what to do next, and it's great to have options, but knowing how to approach them is a puzzle...Some days I'm just not up to anything, but I am getting my rest. My weight, however, is taking a back seat, as I went up a bit again this week. I'm trying to get better, but now it's Passover, and my aunt is going to cook up something wonderful because that's just the way she is! I'm just going to have to be good when I can and not beat myself up when I'm not.

Hopefully, I'll get better about keeping up with the blog, too. I think it helps me to think out loud here, at least that's how it's turned out. I was planning on documenting our outings to restaurants and theaters, but there won't be too much of that until I get a job, so I'm just playing it by ear.

Shabbos

2009-03-27T12:57:00.000-07:00

Well, the first week is coming to a close, and - luckily for me - my DH and I have a very special night planned. Friends from LA are up to visit, and they are staying with a family in Seward Park. We have been invited to join them for candle lighting and Shabbos dinner. I am looking forward to having a spiritual evening, and letting go of the sadness and loss - turning it over, as a 12-stepper would say. Since my DH is Jewish, he's been invited to light candles tonight. I hope he does, and we'll hear the brachot (since I can't say them, and I don't think he knows them). What perfect timing!

Next week I will head over to the outplacement company and spend some time figuring out what to do. In the meantime, I bought a book that I'm finding very interesting. The title makes it sound like it's about technical interviews, but it's more than that. It's a techno-centric "What color is your parachute". The first chapter asks questions to figure out just what kind of programmer I like being - or if coding is even something I want to continue doing. It's going to take a fast pace to get through it in time to do me some good, though.

As for food and exercise, 4 days bad and 3 days good set me back a bit, but I'm back on track now. Two steps forward, one step back. I have a feeling that's a tempo I'm going to learn by heart.

Day two

2009-03-25T15:43:00.000-07:00

Took a different route today on my walk. I braved the stairs that go up the hill from my house. They are daunting, and I usually skirt around the long way rather than tackle them, but today, I just forced myself to do them. I put my iPod on shuffle and hit the road. It was pretty entertaining, actually, since my taste in music is so eclectic that I found myself giggling as the songs switched from one genre to another. To give you an idea, here's the trip up the hill to the top of Queen Anne:

Itzhak Perlman - klezmer music
Marvin Gaye
The Commodores
Hadag Nachash - Israeli rap
La Cage Aux Folles - soundtrack
Django Reinhardt & Stephane Grappelli

Luckily, the rap music came up on shuffle right when I was hitting the worst of the stairs. It really helped me get to the top! Of course, I was wiped out by the time I hit the street, so my walking speed slowed a bit at first, but then I cranked it up - Thanks, Marvin! - and got to the top of Queen Anne in good time. Now I have some fresh Peets coffee -- on sale at Safeway!

Sending off my resume to a friend who knows someone who is hiring. Hope it's not too late to be considered for the job. The sun is out, and my mood is up, so today - day two - is a good day.

Eating and drinking is still a struggle, but I'm determined to get better

Day one

2009-03-24T12:21:00.001-07:00

Took this morning to sleep in for a change, but my plans for getting out and doing anything were a bit thwarted. Mark was here and I let myself get distracted by a show called Kings. But, now that it's over, I'm going to take off and go for a walk and clear my head. There are plenty of things to do around the house and on line for the outplacement company, but I need to just clear my head and get some perspective. Plus, I've been dreadful with eating and drinking and need to get some exercise in.

So, off I go into the wild gray yonder.

The day is here

2009-03-23T09:44:00.000-07:00

After a whirlwind weekend, the last day is here. I'm still a little dazed from all the activity over the past few days, so I'm going out in a bit of a cloud.

Left the city for Kirkland on Friday afternoon, and spent the evening there with my DH. Saturday, we each took a list of items to pick up at grocery stores - he went to an Indian specialty store, and I headed over to Safeway. Then we came back to the city where he cooked and I cleaned in preparation for dinner and gaming - D&D&D. Anyway, it was great fun, and the food was fabulous. I ate too much - of course, but I don't regret a thing.

Then last night, we went to see friends who practically built their 100yo house. They took it down to the framing and built it back up into a stunning home - cozy and interesting. It's just delightful - and so are they. I ate too much there, too - pretty bad being bad 2 days in a row, but that's life. Anyway, I don't regret that, either. Sometimes you just need to let loose.

Tonight is Jazz Alley with my DH, and then tomorrow, I'm heading up to the community college to do some research on classes there. I have a benefit from work that will reimburse me for classes up to a good amount, but I want to see what I can complete. The courses I was going to take at the university here would be more than the reimbursement cap AND they wouldn't be completed soon enough to help with an immediate job search, so I may have to bag that idea and do something more practical. So hard to choose.

One more bag of junk to tote home from the office, and that's it. I'll have to get used to heading to the outplacement company instead of the office just to give myself some sort of routine. In the meantime, I need to sign up for unemployment.

Geronimo!

Time for a review

2009-03-19T20:16:00.000-07:00

Once again reviewers have led us astray. When Beverly Hill Chihuahua came out, we heard great things about it and how funny it was. What a stinker! It was too painful to even watch all the way through. It was beyond stupid. If we had very small children, we could have forced our way through it, but we don't, so we hit the "Next" button and watched some old Numb3rs episodes that Netflix also sent.

We thought, briefly, about paying full price and heading to Jazz Alley, but it would have been 45 bucks for the two of us without the drink minimum. That's just too much right now. We'll go on Monday when it's a cheap night to see the competitors in the Kobe competition. Every year, singers from Seattle compete to win a place in the Kobe, Japan competition. Last year was amazing. There was a singer who was still in high school, and we thought she was better than some headliners we've heard. She was fantastic. Anyway, we'll get a night out together then.

This weekend is shaping up to be a busy one. Saturday, we'll be in Kirkland where we'll make dinner and finish the D&D game that we started with a couple of friends of ours. Sunday, we'll have dinner with friends we haven't seen in a long time at their beautiful place in the city. Then, Monday, I'll turn in my computer, have my last free espresso, and go out to lunch with friends from work. Tuesday, I think I'll collapse!

Speaking of which, early to bed...

Potluck goodbye

2009-03-18T15:17:00.000-07:00

They had a potluck for a farewell party of sorts at work today. My time is winding down quickly now, and I will soon (Monday) be handing in my PC and all connection to GE Healthcare. I will miss those folks - best group since CTS way back when.

Re-taking my web services certification class so I can finally take the test. Should have done it when I first went through the course, but of course I was too busy with work to take care of myself. I sure have the time for that now, though, huh?

I was hoping to get half-priced tickets for Kenny Rankin tonight, but our half-priced ticket place looks like it went out of business. What a bummer! Of all times when a service like that would be greatly appreciated, given the economic downturn, and it had to go out of business. What a bummer. On the bright side, Netflix did send us a copy of Beverly Hills Chihuahua, so we may just have a cozy dinner and movie night instead of a date out. We'll see when my DH gets to the city tonight whether we want to make the jump to full price tickets or just stay home.

The gas is still off in my building. There's a leak somewhere - they think on my floor - so we're having to get creative with cooking. No gas range, and the oven is supposedly dual fuel, so we may be able to broil, but I'm not sure. So, we're planning to put on our parkas and bbq for the first time this season and I'll use the electric oven (no broil) that I have for steaming veggies.
The PSE inspector is supposed to come by tomorrow, but it could be Friday, depending upon schedules. Just a bit of annoyance - nothing tragic.

Well, back to study. Have to do something so that next week isn't a complete freak out. Monday is the last day at work, and the first serious day of my new journey.

Friday the 13th

2009-03-13T11:21:00.000-07:00

Had my tests this morning. I don't expect results for a week or so, but at least I made it to the appointment. Since I woke up late, that was pretty tricky. Didn't even do my weigh-in until I got back from the doctor's office (and a stop at the grocery store for dinner tonight).

So, I'm down 1 lb this week. The slowing has begun, but at least the direction is still down. If I'm going to live like a sloth, I am currently eating as much as can possibly have. That's not good. I want that Guinness next week, and I can't fit the calories in unless I get some activity in this week. Oh, to be one of those perky active types instead of one of the "Is it time for my nap, yet?" people.

Speaking of which, I at least have to get up and do the laundry instead of playing on the computer all day, but maybe just one more cup of coffee...

The Kitchen is Closed

2009-03-12T20:22:00.001-07:00

I always have trouble staying out of the kitchen at night. I have a tendency to raid the cabinets for snacks, but I'm trying to cut that out. I allow myself to have tea, pouring it out of my lovely blue teapot into nice cups, providing a treat that isn't calorie-laden. It's still hard, though.

I have an added incentive tonight, since I need to see my doctor tomorrow for some blood work that requires that I don't eat anything after 9pm tonight until I get my blood taken at about 9:30am tomorrow. I know that I've been better about the types of food I've been eating, and I know that I feel better, but I don't know what to expect from the tests. Last time, my blood glucose level (after fasting) was too high. The last thing I need as an unemployed person is a condition that requires regular meds, even with medical coverage that will continue for 12 months whether I get another job or not.

I weigh in tomorrow morning, too. I don't have high hopes for the result, though. I was good with regard to food, but terrible with exercise. It's been so cold, that I was left to my own devices indoors, and I was just not good about doing anything. Well, we'll see what happens.

The rest of the day tomorrow will be getting my tax info together, picking up veggies for dinner, and finishing laundry -- the never-ending chore. I'm looking forward to it, strangely enough. It always seems that working makes everything else take a back seat, and I'm getting to things (slowly but surely) that I've been putting off for a long time. I must be doing better if I'm seeing a silver lining even in the prospect of doing chores around the house.

Next week, my DH and I are going to splurge and go to hear Kenny Rankin at Jazz Alley. If my blood work comes out okay, I'm going to treat myself to a Guinness, too. Everyone needs a little extra treat now and again. For now, I just have to keep reminding myself that the kitchen is closed.

Just another manic...Wednesday

2009-03-11T11:00:00.000-07:00

The roller coaster continues, but I'm up today. People are taking up the slack, and I'm not needed so much at work, which is disheartening. It's just the way it is, though, so I am trying not to take it personally.

Other people who were laid off are being so much more active than I am with regard to the job search. I haven't even figured out what I want to do, yet. I did get an idea from one of the nicest women here at work. She has a friend who started a food-related business about 4 years ago. She's going to try and set up a time to meet so I can ask some questions and see what it would take to do a similar thing. I'd love to be doing something independent, but it all depends upon how much the start-up costs would be. I imagine that I'd still have to get some sort of job to support any entrepreneurial endeavor. We'll see.

Other than that, nothing new. One day at a time.

The week begins on Tuesday

2009-03-10T11:36:00.001-07:00

Just couldn't make the week start yesterday. Just couldn't do it. I spent the day reading on the couch with a blanket and a very warm cat on my legs. On the bright side, it was a low-calorie day, since I didn't do anything. On the downside, I didn't do anything of value toward getting out of the funk and onto the job search or at least job preparedness.

Even Mother Nature seemed a little out of sorts. The cold and sunny morning turned into a snow storm (didn't stick) and then into a cold and cloudy evening. Just to make matters a little stranger, a tree fell and took out power for ~4000 people, of whom I was one. Just as I was going to hop in the car and head to over to Kirkland to see my DH, my car wouldn't start. I need a new battery - I know that - but I thought I could wait a bit for it. I don't know what I did to drain the battery so badly, but it's gone, gone, gone.

So, Mrs. Lincoln, what did you think of the play?

Today is a new day, and I am still on track with my eating plan. I can't control my job (or lack thereof) situation, but at least I can control my eating. I just need to up the exercise a bit. 2 pounds per week doesn't sound like a lot, and it's not, but now that I'm into the program and am only 4+ pounds away from my next milestone, it feels pretty good. We had dinner at friends' the other night, and the main course was chicken-fried steak. I'm sure it was good, but I just brought my own dinner -- two large ravioli over a bed of spinach -- and shared the green beans that they had prepared and a large salad. I didn't miss the entree (and the rich sauce). Staying on track is more satisfying now than eating anything I please. It's an interesting change of attitude, and I hope contributes to some needed self-confidence when I get out there interviewing.

BTW, I added a weight-loss gadget at the bottom of the page that shows my progress. I only weigh myself once per week, so it will just creep along as I get closer to my goal. I'm anticipating the losses being smaller as the weeks go by, since I'm halfway to my goal now, but I'll update the ticker every Friday, even if I don't add a post that day.

Friday morning I have an appointment with my doctor. It will be interesting to see how (and if) my diet has changed my glucose levels (if at all) and what my doctor has in her bag of tricks for menopause symptoms. I'm finding that I'm generally happier (with some down times, obviously) so I'm thinking that the chances are good that my blood work will be less problematic than it was when I was last in her office. She did say that one of the options for dealing with night sweats and hot flashes was an anti-depressant. If we go that route, it couldn't come at a better time with job searching on the horizon. Having a little happy-pill backup sounds good to me right about now.

Ah, reality finally on the radar

2009-03-08T18:47:00.000-07:00

Well, today it's finally hitting me just how hard it's going to be when I leave work at the end of the month. The depression is starting to hit, and the worry about getting another gig is rearing its ugly head. I knew the honeymoon period couldn't last forever, but still.

I have some online classes I need to take for prerequisites for the the classes at the outplacement company. I guess I should start doing something instead of just sitting around worrying about what's going to happen.

Well, the roller coaster ride is in gear now. Should only get more and more "fun" as we go.

Got to keep thinking positively. Gulp.

Networking the job search

2009-03-05T12:41:00.000-08:00

The process of looking for a job is turning out to be very emotional, but not in the way I expected. I thought I would be depressed (I'm sure that there is some of that) and worried, but I'm finding that the prevalent cause for tears these days is the receipt of recommendations from the people with whom I work and have worked.

LinkedIn has an automated request form, making it easy to send a request for recommendation to any number of connections. The responses I've gotten have more than once moved me to tears. Whatever happens, I'm glad I had the impetus to send out those requests.

Tomorrow I meet with some outplacement folks at a company that GE hired to handle those of us who were let go. The company is Right Management, and they have a good reputation in the community. The premium package from them must cost companies a bundle, and is a very nice benefit in my severance package. I'm as lucky as someone can be who is without a job in this lousy economy.

What does the future hold? I have no idea.

Strange problem with ellipses

2009-03-03T10:53:00.000-08:00

Used a few ellipses (of which I am excessively fond) in my last post, but the page wouldn't load when I got to work to view it. I took them out, and now I can see yesterday's post. I wonder what Blogger doesn't like about ellipses?

I feel like I spent yesterday holding my breath, blindly sending out S.O.S. messages to contacts and friends - more like messages in a bottle than serious job-search activities. Of course, they count, but still. Today, I'm trying to just breathe, relax, take a look around and figure out what I'm going to wear to the Puget Sound Business Journal Job Search meeting tomorrow. The good news is that I'm losing weight; the bad news is that it complicates my finding "business casual" clothes to wear to meetings and interviews.

My big plan for today is to get Shaynala to the vet to get her nails trimmed. Poor thing is sticking to the carpet. Luckily, they only charge 15 bucks for the effort. The other portion of the plan is to figure out what I need to do for tuition reimbursement (part of my severance package) so that I know when to pull the trigger on enrolling in the classes I want to take.

And breathing.

A Journey of 1000 miles

2009-03-02T20:07:00.000-08:00

begins with a single step.

I started the week by submitting my resume to Disney Interactive Media Group (DIMG). They are in the same building as my current job, and I ran into someone I know who works there last year. We hooked up on LinkedIn, and I checked with him about submitting my resume, since I know some companies give employees kick-backs if they hire someone who was referred in (as opposed to paying recruiters, I suppose). Anyway, I just submitted it, so I don't know how long it will take to hear whether I passed the first hurdle.

I also took a look at our company's website to see if there are any open jobs. The only ones I could find for which I was somewhat qualified are really a better fit for a friend who's currently working in LA, but wants to move back up here. It wouldn't get him all the way to Seattle, since the jobs are in Yakima, but it would be a shorter (and cheaper) commute to Snohomish, where his family is already living in anticipation of his finding work up this way. I hope one of those jobs works for him. Didn't propel my search any, but I'd feel more than satisfied if it helped someone I care about to find something good.

I have a seminar downtown on Wednesday morning, and a meeting with an outplacement company on Friday. So, I'm not being my regular lazy self this time. That's an interesting change. I still have not taken Lester down to see what I can come up with for volunteering, but that will come in time.

Meanwhile, I'm just about finished my current Nero Wolfe mystery, and there's a new one waiting at the library for me. Also, today was a good calorie day, I had a fast walk from the pet store (wet food for Shaynala was on the list) after work, and the kitchen is officially closed until morning. I will treat myself to a cup of tea, but nothing more to eat. If it gets too hard, I'll just head up to bed and call it a night. Being on a diet is a lot like living like a cat - short periods of wakefulness and frequent naps. Whatever it takes.

Good News, Bad News, New News

2009-02-27T10:22:00.000-08:00

Weekly weigh-in this morning, and I'm down another 3.4 lbs. The good thing about bad news is that it helps put other things like food into perspective. I had a couple of days where I went over my 1.2k calories per day goal, but most of the time I stay close to 1k. Sleeping when I would otherwise stay up and snack is a big help. Ah, for the blessing of sleep where everything is beautiful all the time.

Besides the weigh-in, which brought good news, Friday also means the last weekday of "detente". I promised myself I could have 1 week to just chill and get my head together, and that's what I had. Monday means having to figure out what I'm going to do not only for the rest of the month, but going forward. That's the bad news.

One thing I'm putting on the list for March is to create a short puppet show, and see if I can't volunteer somewhere like Children's Hospital or elsewhere. Lester always cheers me up, so even if I get turned down for some volunteering possibilities, I can at least get myself in a better space. Maybe I'll get Lester a blog. That's the new news.

Do you remember Ramptha and Jonathan from the 80's? It seemed like there were channels to spirits but they were always the spirits of some powerful warlord or Queen of Egypt or something, but Lester channels a common man - Joe. Lester's full name is Lester J. Hugworthy III. He got the trey when we went to Palm Springs for the first time, and he wanted to add Commodore to his name, but he doesn't know anything about boats or ships so I put my foot down. We compromised on the designation III. Lester, well, that was just his name. Hugworthy came because, well, aren't we all?

Yes, I think the time has come for him to get his voice back. Poor thing hasn't been active since 1989. His time has come. I'll add the link here when his blog is up.

BTW, great blog entry that Shtreimel turned us on to in his blog (A Hasid and A Heretic). It's not apropos of anything going on with me now with the layoffs or anything, but it's great:
http://hillyinthecity.blogspot.com/2009/02/mazel-tov.html

First Thursday

2009-02-26T13:01:00.000-08:00

Still getting used to the fact that I'm soon leaving my job. I'm remarkably calm right now, but I think that's probably just a level of denial, but the intensity of prayer is also higher, and I think that keeps me calmer than I would otherwise be.

I'm on a mailing list called "Torah Thought of the Day" through http://torahbyemail.blogspot.com/ and one came up yesterday:

"Rava taught: Lifespan, children and livelihood depend not on merit, but on mazal."(Talmud, Moed Katan 28a)

When I thought about mazal, I thought of "Mazol Tov!" -- and the idea that the Talmud would say it was just "luck" reminded me of a something a Buddhist teacher once told me when something hard happened. He said, "Congratulations!" His feeling was that it is only through difficulties that we grow, coming closer to becoming our authentic selves. That development can only occur when there's something to struggle against or confront in "battle".

In meditating on this thought of the day, I also reached out to friends who are more learned in Torah/Talmud, and I may find as I absorb what they shared that it will be useful to put some of it up here on my blog -- thinking out loud in the blogosphere to better comprehend the information, rather the meaning of the information that I received from them.

The gist of what I understand so far is that mazal isn't luck in a magical thinking way, but rather destiny - something that isn't because of something I did or didn't do as much as something that I need to do. I still have to figure out what that is.

What's next? I have no idea.

I'm a Statistic

2009-02-24T07:45:00.000-08:00

Just the other day when we went to see Memphis at the 5th Avenue Theater, a friend told me that he was "a statistic". It took me a minute to catch on to what he meant - that he'd been laid off. Well, I'm a statistic, too. It's very odd to be at work every day knowing that I have 1 month to work there, and then I'm out on my fanny.

When faced with crises, I look for the metaphor. It's just the way I roll, so bear with me. I will be working from now through the end of March. Then we have plans (and, luckily, airline tickets) to head to Scottsdale, AZ for Passover. When I was praying last night, I asked for help in understanding the significance of being "freed" from a job I love in time to share a Seder with my uncle and aunt. The Jews were freed from slavery - but I'm being freed from a job I enjoy, working with people whom I love.

Then I thought about Moses leading such a large group, among whom were those complaining "We should never have left Egypt". Maybe I have something to learn from the reticent folks. Or maybe there are a number of definitions of slavery. Maybe I need to discover and free myself of something to which I've become enslaved. More prayer needed, obviously, but until I find a metaphor that works more efficiently, I think that's the track I'll follow.

Well, off to savor some free espresso...only 1 month left for that perk (no pun intended).

Heading in the Right Direction

2009-02-20T09:02:00.001-08:00

Weigh-in was this morning, and I am delighted to report that the nasty little arrow is heading in the right direction. The scale I have is an old crappy one, and I have my doubts about it, but it even looks like I lost more than the 2 lbs I was hoping to lose. I'm being conservative, though, and calling it 2 lbs for now. I will pick up a more readable/reliable scale this weekend and see what it says.

Dieting is easy right now, actually. For once, we don't have a million dinner engagements, parties, etc. so I can just treat food as something I need to keep going during the day. That is not the way it will always be, given that my DH is a dream in the kitchen and is always coming up with something delicious. Hopefully, by the time we get to the next occasion, I'll be better prepared with portions and a little more in control.

I think that's what made me start getting serious about dieting - the complete lack of control I was having. I couldn't have cereal in the house because I treated the box like a serving. Same thing goes for ice cream. Just completely out of control - and the compulsive behavior just had to stop.

I still need to get serious about working out. I'm up to one day a week right now, but aiming for two and so forth. I just need to get into a routine where it's what I do at a given time, and that's that - like a theater date or something I'd actually enjoy.

Speaking of theater, the Mozart was lovely last night. They did feature a soloist on the double bass during a Vanhall piece (not a composer with whom I'm familiar). He got a standing ovation, but I didn't think it was all that great. The Schubert was pretty, and the Jupiter Symphony was outstanding.

Since my DH has his weekly role-playing (a D&D derivative) game on Saturday night, I may have to run over there on Sunday to see him. I want him to see Eating Raoul, which I have from Netflix, and I don't want to clog my queue holding onto a film when I could be getting through my Inspector Lynley mysteries!

For the first time in a very long time I feel pretty good. Life is quite nice right now. Friends and family are doing well, and except for a few things I need to take care of like seeing my Dr. to make sure that my glucose level is nothing to worry about and that my arm pain is really just a pinched nerve that a chiropractor or some such doctor can handle, things for me are good as well.

Nothing to report regarding recipes from last night, since the pork will last me quite a while. I'm one of those people who can eat the same thing every day (as long as I like it) and enjoy it. It's probably the reason I can re-watch films I've seen a hundred times if I love them - like Laura, which I watched again just the other night.

Looking forward to finishing my latest Nero Wolfe mystery and getting to bed early tonight. Fridays are the best days for catching up on the sleep I miss all week.

Tomorrow is weigh-in

2009-02-19T11:18:00.000-08:00

Well I haven't written since I got on the scale because I was so disappointed with myself that I let it get this far. I'm limiting my calories, eating portions that I would have considered "tapas" just a month ago, and no drinking. Those wonderful full-bodied reds are a thing of the past, but I still hope to splurge on a Guinness come March.

March? No, not St. Patty's Day, but The Moisture Festival here in Fremont. It's a festival of wild and wonderful burlesque, comedy, music, and fun in Fremont (a.k.a. "The Center of the Universe") and the ACT theater downtown.

Tonight it's Mozart at Symphony hall. We have divine seats for this series - right above the orchestra on the left side (from the audience point of view). We can read the music that the 1st Violinists are playing. We sit to a very nice couple, and it's just our favorite series there. Now, if Itzhak Perlman comes, then we want to sit as far front and close to the stage as we can, but for the Mozart, we love these seats. Tonight, it's the Jupiter Symphony.

No dinner reviews right now, since food is the least interesting of things going on, but, if you use a slow cooker, here's a wonderful way to cook up a pork tenderloin - no muss, no fuss. The original recipe is called "Amazing Pork Tenderloin" on the CDKitchen website. Here's my version:

Garlic Pork Tenderloin

Ingredients:

Pork tenderloin
3 TBLs garlic minced
3/4 cups wine (I used white because I had it; original uses red)
1 pkg dry onion soup mix (I used Carb Options because I had it)
1 cup water
3 TBLs soy sauce

Spray non-stick pan with Pam (or use just a touch of oil) and brown pork tenderloin. My slow cooker isn't huge, so I cut the pork tenderloin in 4 good-sized pieces and browned those. Meanwhile add the water, wine, onion soup mix and soy sauce to the slow cooker. Add the browned meat and slather the top of the tenderloin pieces with garlic.
Cook on low for 3 hours. Turn the pork over in the "soup" and let cook for 1 to 2 more hours.

The pork will pull apart like Hawaiian pulled pork. You can use it on salads or sandwiches or just serve it over rice. I added the "soup" to the rice pot to infuse the flavor into the rice as it cooked.

That's as interesting as it's gotten around here with food of late. Tomorrow morning I weigh in and find out if I've lost anything this week. Results to follow.

Last Monday

2009-01-26T10:26:00.000-08:00

I can hardly believe that it's the last Monday of January already. Is the rest of the year going to go like this? It seems like just a day ago that my DH and I were snowed in at our home in Kirkland. Celebrating the holidays, yes, but also trapped!

It did snow - a little bit - yesterday, but not enough to keep me from heading home to be with my honey. He thoughtfully taped the NHL All Stars Game, and let me watch it while he cooked an amazing gourmet feast. We had a marinated pork tenderloin, with red potatoes roasted with garlic, and fresh asparagus. What a wonderful meal!

Since I last wrote, I have a few updates:

In Bruges - a film starring Colin Farrell, was lauded by the critics, and called a "sleeper". Well, it should have stayed asleep. I'm one of those people who needs to see something happy on a Sunday night, and there was nothing happy in this film. There were times when I thought they might pull out of the muck long enough to give us a modified happy ending, but, no. It was death and destruction to everyone we liked, and even those we didn't. It could have been a David Lynch for all the blood. The dialog was clever, and we did laugh once or twice during it, but this was not a winner. Afterward, we watched an episode of 2 and 1/2 Men to have a giggle before heading off to bed in preparation for the work week.

Defiance - Did I already kvell about this one? Even if I did, it's worth saying again. It is the best movie I've seen in a long time. The critics complain that it tried too hard, and pulled too many heart strings. What? Yes, I cared about the people in it, which must be something critics disdain, and I felt uplifted at the end of it, which must also be a no-no. Bah! Forget them. This is fantastic!

I received an extra movie from Netflix this past week because it had been at the top of my queue for a while with a status of "short wait". They finally found it somewhere else, and had it sent to me even though I already had my allotment of films. It was a series of concerts by Bill Hicks (comedian who died of cancer back in the 90's). I remember loving his work, and wanted to see it again. I found it most interesting that I no longer enjoyed him at all. There were a few chuckles, but, for the most part, he was just ranting without humor.

That has happened to me before - where something I remember as touching or funny just doesn't have the same appeal it once did. I was surprised this time, though. My friend, Ravi and I used to enjoy him so much that I thought for sure it would be the same this time around - but it wasn't...not by a long shot.

King of Hearts, though, seems to have unlimited appeal. I watched it again with the same enjoyment as the first time I saw it - or maybe even more. What makes it even better is that it was a free, "play now" video through Netflix, so I just pulled it onto my Roku machine and have it there to watch anytime I want (along with Star Trek TOS and the current seasons of NCIS, and Numb3rs seasons 3, 4 and 5).

The street was paved with ice this morning, as if someone had used a powdered-sugar glaze over everything. My sweetie drove me to the P&R because I didn't set the alarm correctly. It's currently set to go off at 5pm instead of 5am. Anyway, it was good he did that because walking to the bus stop could have been treacherous!

Tomorrow, we're heading to a production of one of my favorite plays - The Importance of Being Earnest. We'll meet up with friends and go to a show on a Tuesday night! That's not our normal behavior. Weekdays are normally too tiring to consider going out, but this is a special event, and I wouldn't miss it for the world.

Wednesday will be my first Weight Watchers' meeting in a very long time. I have to get serious now, or I'll be miserable when we go to NYC in June. I think it is so much worse to be stuffed into clothes when it's hot and sticky than when it's cold and rainy. Not that it's great any time, but I would just hate having to feel either exposed and embarrassed or sweltering in too many clothes while we're back there. If I can just eat sensibly, and NOT snack at night (I'm a late-night nibbler) I should be okay by June. That's the goal, anyway. I'd love to be motivated enough to start running again, and train for the Vancouver 1/2 marathon, but I don't think I'll pull it together this year. Maybe next May I will be in a better place with daily exercise.

My sister is the Queen of Physical Health. She's been working out daily since the new year. What a star! She's amazing, anyway, but this is a poke for me to remember to keep up (uh, get up is more like it).

More later after we head to the theater. I'll give updates on my WW meetings, too. There's one next door to work right now, but they need 10 more people to keep it going. I hope they get them because it'd be a lot easier to get there than at Westlake, which is 1/2 way home. Hard to come back to the office when I've escaped that far! Also, the blog can keep me honest, since I'll report losses and gains, so I'd better be good!

Long time no blog

2009-01-16T09:40:00.000-08:00

Finally feeling somewhat normal after the holidays. Time to get back to a regular routine - the food, the exercise, the work...everything. Once I get my habits reset, I'll be okay, but now everything seems so forced and strange. Normal living seems dull in comparison, and yet the holidays lacked something this year, too.

I hadn't realized until this year how much I appreciated lighting the menorah for Channukah. We're non-traditional to say the least, and enjoy a mixed experience of both a single gift-giving day on xmas, and lighting the candles for each night of Channukah. We say a blessing each night - not the standard brachot by any means - for something for which we are thankful. The first night is for our health, and the nights following each remind us of another aspect of life for which we are grateful. During a time as hectic and crazy as the holidays, having 8 nights where we light the candles together, and spend some time in reflection and appreciation for each other and our life together - that in itself is a blessing. This year, we didn't have Channukah candles, and I couldn't find any anywhere. You don't realize how xmas-centric the world is until you try and find candles for the menorah at the last minute. I bought a case after the holiday so that I will NOT run into this problem again. We ran through the holidays without a break, and they were over before we knew it. We had fun giving presents to the children in our lives, but we missed having the intimate holiday with each other that I've come to anticipate and love.

We were forced to slow down a little bit, though, because we were snowed in at the house in Kirkland. It looked like Tahoe out the window. Driving was impossible, and walking was difficult. After 4 days in the house, we pushed the car out of the driveway and into the ruts created by the mailman to get out to a movie - Tales of Despereaux. I loved the movie, which had some of the most beautiful animation I've ever seen. Evidently, the book is sadder than the film - so I'm glad I saw the film!

This xmas I got a patriotic banner instead of a flag. I mentioned before that I never even wanted a flag for the condo because the Bush administration did not engender even the smallest amout of patriotism in me. In fact, I never felt so alienated from my own country. However, as of last November 4th, all of that changed. Still, it's hard to figure out how to put a flag up on the deck of the condo. My creative DH found a banner - one of those ruffled red/white/blue banners you might see on a dais during a political speach - and I'll be using it quite soon. I will put it out for Tuesday - Inauguration Day for our 44th President, Barak Obama. Talk about something for which I can be truly grateful! A president for all of us.

Here's to meeting our personal goals (bah on "resolutions") and living a life filled with love, peace, and prosperity in the coming year.

Holidaze

2008-12-18T21:16:00.000-08:00

We had a successful "gingerbread decorating" party last Saturday. What a treat! My DH went above-and-beyond baking and assembling 11 houses so the kids could get right to the fun part of decorating them and making them their own. He also made cookies for smaller "landscapes" and it was all good -- too good! Oy, the eating! Still, it was so good to have time with friends. That, after all, is the heart of the holiday - but food is a close second!

We celebrate both Xmas and Hanukkah, so we have twice the eating opportunities. This weekend is brisket and latkes, and Xmas Eve is shrimp creole by the fire. Xmas morning, Santa brings bagels and lox (with lots of capers and onions) as well as presents. Then NYE means braised lamb and a midnight dessert buffet at the Seattle Rep, where we're going to see You Can't Take It With You, and then dance and munch until the fireworks there at the Seattle Center. Then it's back to "real life" and sensible eating as we start the new year...

One thing that's been tough this holiday season is that we usually give a lot to charity at this time of year. The Seattle Center has a giving tree, and we used to select a couple of the elderly and a couple of kids and buy presents for them. We just couldn't do it this year. No extravagant gifts for ourselves, of course, but no big donations to our favorite charities, either. Here's hoping that next year puts us in a better position to give to the organizations who are doing such good work.

One organization in particular is FareStart. They train homeless people to work in the food industry so that they can get jobs and change their lives. They are a great group doing important grass-roots work to change lives in a positive way - good for people/good for Seattle. I love these guys. YouTube has a number of videos of FareStart success stories. This one came in this month's newsletter, and I think it's worth sharing.

If I don't get back to blogging before the new year, happy holidays to one and all!

FareStart:

How can they sleep at night?

2008-12-12T22:47:00.000-08:00

Worked at home today because there's a threat of snow. The rest of the country would laugh at Seattle and our fear of flurries, but it's a safer place if I'm not on the road in snow. I have to be in the 'burbs for our annual holiday gingerbread house decorating party, so I got here while the driving was easy.

Anyway, my DH listens to CNBC all day long, so some of it penetrated even though I'm pretty good at blocking out sounds when I'm working. The discussion today about the car company bailouts really touched me. After giving a hundred billion dollars to bail out the financial companies without so much as a request as to how they were going to spend the money, the feds are requesting that the UAW take a cut in pay before they'll even offer a bridge loan to keep America working.

So, if you're a big mucky-muck in a failed financial house, you can get a grant from the feds to give yourself a bonus, but if you're a working guy making cars on the line at GM, you have to work for less to even have a job.

How do those Republicans even sleep at night with the inequity they continue to defend?

Today was also the day that one of the biggest market makers was arrested for a 50 billion dollar ponzi scam he's been running. And his business was regulated. Huh? Yeah, financial leaders are ever so trustworthy...NOT.

Ambiance == Darkness

2008-12-10T07:36:00.000-08:00

I went to dinner last night with friends to a restaurant I've been to before and LOVED. It had great seafood, the dining room had a warm and cozy feel - just wonderful. However, sometime between the last time I went there and last night something drastic happened.

They lost their collective minds.

The restaurant Six Seven in the Edgewater Hotel used to be a seriously good restaurant. In a city that has more than its share of EXCELLENT restaurants, that's something about which a restaurant (and a hotel restaurant, no less) could be seriously proud. I should have known, though, as soon as we sat down that something was seriously amiss. The restaurant was so dark that we had to tilt a candle to even read the menu, and the layout of the menu was confusing as well (with no help from the waiter to ease our way into ordering).

Having made it through the menu by bailing out and opting for the 2 people for $67 4-course dinner, we still had hopes that the food would dazzle. It's not bad, but it is no longer in the top rankings of Seattle restaurants. My DH had the steak option (we had options for salad, entree, and dessert) and I had the fish. My sea bass was wonderful, but his steak arrived cold. Not only that, the DISH was hot, but the food was cold... Huh? The same thing happened with the soup - mine was fine, but his was cold. Maybe they had it out for him (not).

The desserts were wonderful - a gingerbread crust on a vanilla cheesecake and a molten-lava chocolate cake - so they must have kept their pastry chef. However, they seem to have lost their previous chef - or maybe they have the same chef, but he's gone as loony as the bozo who decided to up the ambiance by turning the lights off. What a disappointment - and expense. So disappointing to see a once stellar restaurant slide down hill like this...such a shame.

I'm just bleeding money these days, and it has to stop. We all received a notice that there will be a reduction-in-force, probably after the holidays, and we need to be tightening our belts. I guess I'm finished with my holiday shopping...

Synchronicity

2008-12-08T12:33:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it seems prayers, like questions, are answered with more questions. I still have some praying and thinking to do about my issues with being faithful to my chosen family, while being accepting of my husband's family (and my birth family, too). There's a post over at Friar Yid that touches me to the core.

http://friaryid.blogspot.com/2008/12/reflections-on-yarzeit.html

He's not talking about me at all. But his use of the story of Abraham choosing to sacrifice his own son (even though the son is given a reprieve) rather than disobey G-d made me see the orthodoxy in my unorthodox life. I haven't worked out the nuances, yet, but I can see the spark of an answer amid the myriad of new questions.

Once, in M*A*S*H, a crazy guy who thought he was Jesus was asked why G-d doesn't always answer our prayers, and he said he always answers, but sometimes the answer is "no". I think what's happening is that we're not asking the right questions. Sometimes the answer is in the form of more questions to help us get to the right one. At least that's what I think.

One time, when I was a kid, my dad had a friend who went through some mid-life crisis, left his wife, started dating a much younger woman, and started dressing like some "hipster". It was embarrassing. I couldn't look at him. One night, he gave me a present - a board game called The Peter Pan Game (doubt he saw the irony) which was really cool. However, I couldn't look at him or at his young girlfriend. I just wanted to sink into the floor.

My dad told me later that I was rude to his friend, and that it hurt him to have me be so disrespectful. I never wanted to hurt my dad - but I felt like "pretending" to respect this guy was dishonest. I did a lot of thinking and praying then, too. It occurred to me that if I were only going to treat people with respect whom I thought deserved respect, then I was going to have to spend all my time judging people's behavior before I could do anything. That also meant that my behavior would be controlled by the behavior of others instead of being self determined. If they were respect-worthy, then I would be respectful; if they weren't, then I would be disrespectful. That just didn't seem right.

I finally decided that I could treat people with respect - not because they deserved respect - but because I deserved respect. Then it didn't matter whether they deserved it or not. I could treat this friend of my dad's with respect without feeling like a phony, not disappoint my father, and still feel true to myself.

There's got to be a solution like that for me here, too. It's just much easier for me to handle people hurting - or trying to hurt - me, than watching people hurt those whom I love. So this one is going to take more work, but I feel like the answer is closer now.

Mumbai

2008-12-04T12:34:00.000-08:00

Sent an email to a friend living in Mumbai, who was (thankfully) unharmed in the attack. She sent this photo of the Taj Hotel as it used to look.

If you haven't stopped by Cook-Eat-Fret http://www.cookeatfret.com/ lately, stop by and see her latest unusual post about a December Thanksgiving.

Hope you are all well, and that the holidays and the coming year bring peace to all.

A new day

2008-12-03T09:20:00.001-08:00

Okay, that's out. Now I just have to suck it up and get on with life. So, what's more "life" than love, food and travel?

Thanksgiving this year was in San Francisco. We go somewhere new each year (next year might be Florida) since there are birthdays and the holiday to celebrate. Someday, we'll have it home in Seattle again, but I have no complaints about this year's activities!

We arrived on Monday and went to see a dear friend who welcomed us with a fire blazing in the fireplace, wine and delicious food and wonderful company. She apologized for keeping it simple - just chicken and veggies and potatoes, but isn't that perfect? After all, it was a week that was bound to be filled with the abundant and exotic, so a simple meal was exactly what we needed (and enjoyed). Another friend was with us, and kept the conversation interesting and even drove us back to our hotel. That's not as easy as it sounds in SF! It was a great night grazing and talking - the perfect way to start the vacation.

The next day, we wandered the city and tired ourselves out. We should have gone to the new Jewish museum, but I needed a nap before our excursion to North Beach for dinner with friends who were coming in from out of town. They live about 45 minutes from BART, and then it takes them an hour to get into the city, so it's not something they do often. I think it was as much fun for them as it was for us to visit that beautiful place.

We did a quick scan of our options for dinner in North Beach, and settled on an unusual choice. We went to Mangarosa (http://www.mangarosasf.com/), which is a Brazilian/Italian restaurant. The food was great and the company even better, but we didn't see any dancers on the bar! We took the cable car up Powell and back, so we could hop off at the street where my MIL and BIL were staying, and had the chance to visit with them a bit before we said good night. We could have hopped on the cable car again to get down to our hotel, but we just walked. The weather was mild, and walking DOWN Powell St is easy.

The next day was my MIL's birthday. We tried to visit the Jewish Museum, but it was closed - as was SFMOMA, so we just walked around the Ferry Plaza building and had lunch there. What a fabulous place! There was a stall there that sold nothing but mushrooms - tons of different kinds of fresh and dried mushrooms. There's a mushroom galette recipe (http://smittenkitchen.com/2006/10/when-the-funk-hits-the-fan/) that I've been longing to try, but haven't done so, yet. I'm not a pie crust maven, so I have been hesitant to try it.

Anyway, it was birthday-day, so we went to see the movie, Australia. There's no denying that Hugh Jackman is gorgeous, and the child actor was so beautiful that I loved seeing his face fill the screen. The movie, though, is a very, very, very long melodrama. It's the kind of movie that you'd expect to generate a hiss from the audience whenever the villain comes on screen. I took a break midway in the film, and then came back when the WWII action started. If you're going to have a long movie, at least blow things up!

After the movie, we took a break to share some wine in our hotel room, and then went do dinner at The House (http://www.thehse.com/). We opted for multiple appetizers and two entrees for 4 people. That worked out perfectly! We had hamachi with capers and avocado, grilled calamari with bonita flakes, rib eye steak perfectly cooked medium rare, black cod that was so good it was sweet, crab cakes for which the presentation was more like a volcano than any crab cake plate I've ever seen, and a butter lettuce salad with walnuts and gorgonzola cheese and one with a wonderful vinegrette that had broiled chicken livers (my MIL's favorite). All that with a Nagy2 Pinot Noir that was outstanding, and a bargain compared to the Willamette Valley Pinot Noir on the menu. Crowded and noisy, but the restaurant was still a wonderful success.

Thursday, I grabbed an Italian coffee at Bellini's right near the hotel, and then we took BART up to Pleasant Hill for an old-fashioned Thanksgiving dinner. It was wonderful spending time with my sister and her family. I don't get enough time with her, but cherish the time we do have. Dinner was great, and the wine was ever-flowing. I made a chocolate dessert, the recipe for which I got from Claudia at (http://www.cookeatfret.com/) and my sister made a birthday cake for her husband whose birthday fell on the perfect day this year, and my MIL made a wonderful pumpkin pecan "dump cake". I have to get the recipe for that one, since it looked incredibly easy and everyone commented on it. That's the best kind of recipe - more kudos than work!

Friday, we had breakfast at Sears (http://www.searsfinefood.com/). Sears is associated with appliances for me - or was until I went to this wonderful place in SF that's been in business since 1938. I had a veggie omelet, my DH tried their signature pancakes, and I had a bite - they were fabulous! My MIL had an omelet, too, and my BIL had a club sandwich that looked fantastic.

After that, my DH and I took off for Santa Rosa to stay with friends. We had leftovers - a real treat for those who travel during Thanksgiving, and have no leftovers of their own - and played a game called Sequence. It was fun chatting and laughing and playing. What a lovely couple they are, and their home is so cozy and warm. Their "city" is just the right size, too. We walked around their downtown the next day, stopped for breakfast at a friendly deli, and window shopped while we caught up on what's happening in our lives. I only met them after my DH and I started dating, but love them now like I've known them forever.

Finally, on Saturday, we took off for our last "event" of the trip. We went to visit my cousin and her family - including my Godmother!! - in Sonoma. WOW! Their house is beautiful, but their spirits and warmth are even more so. Seeing my Godmother in such good health and spirits made my week! We had a blast seeing them, and I hope we stay in closer touch from now on.

When we got back to the city, my DH and I were tired - but not too tired to head to Transporter 3. Yippee!! It was fantastic! Transporter was great; Transporter 2 was silly; Transporter 3 got it right. It was tense and fun - though the choppy direction which seems de rigeur these days in action films was a bit much. I like watching Stratham do his martial arts thing, and the cuts were a little distracting.

Next day was BART to bus to airport and home. Whew! We made it. I was a little dazed on Monday at work, but it was a great trip. I'll come back and edit this to add some links, fix spelling errors, etc. but want to get this posted now after my "down" post yesterday.

There are good things in life. I just have to keep praying, hoping, and plugging along.

Harder than I thought

2008-12-02T12:43:00.000-08:00

I wanted to do a post yesterday as a memorial to Matthew Shepard (http://www.matthewshepard.org/site/PageServer). Rather than write something on the day he died, I thought it would be better to celebrate his birthday. However, all I could manage to do was to make a donation and ponder my current situation.

I lived most of my adult life in a cocoon of sorts. Living as a gay woman in the Bay Area, and even here in Seattle, enabled me to surround myself with people I could trust implicitly and explicitly. I never had to question that these people, whom I love, would ever vote to make the lives of gay people anywhere more difficult than they already are. I marginalized straight people, picking and choosing my companions with ease. I was purposefully isolated, and life was good.

Then I had the wonderful fortune to fall in love with the most wonderful man in the world. He is beloved of my friends and welcomed as family, and I've been lucky enough to be welcomed into my DH's family as well. But I find myself in a quandry.

One problem is that I had a community, but there is no real "straight community". The only communities I can recognize are the subcultures by ethnicity, but none seem as cohesive as the gay community. I traveled the world by myself, yet never felt alone because there "family" was everywhere. Now, I don't feel that way - or I do, but I'm not really a part anymore.

Still, I'm meeting people whom I like - a lot - but then I find out that they actively vote to hurt the people I love - MY family. So, what do I do? They're not openly hostile. I don't think any of them would physically attack anyone. Still, it's not very comfortable. I keep thinking about what Dr. King said (paraphrasing) that, in the end, it's not the words of our enemies we'll remember, but the silence of our friends.

All this is coming at a time when my body is going through hostile changes - like it's Icarus and has to get to the sun as fast as possible. Doesn't make it easy to stay sane or rational. Over-reactions are the norm, and I just feel like screaming or crying or both.

This is a whole new world for me. I'm not in my comfy ghetto anymore, and I'm not sure how to live here, but it's my life. I wouldn't trade my love, my life, for anything, so I just have to learn to cope without disappointing Dr. King. I don't want to be a silent friend, but I don't know how to be heard, either. It just makes me so sad.

Jazz Birthday

2008-11-20T12:40:00.000-08:00

My DH and I went to Jazz Alley (http://www.jazzalley.com/) on Tuesday to celebrate his birthday. Tuck and Patti (http://www.tuckandpatti.com/) were the headliners, and they are an amazing duo. He's a phenomenon with a guitar, and she's got a voice that melts my heart. It was their rendition of My Romance that I always associate with falling in love with my sweet husband.

I used to see T&P for free when I lived in Berkeley in the late 70's. They would play during happy hour at a bar my friends and I frequented, and I loved them even then. I have to pay more to see them, but they are so very worth it.

Dinner at Jazz Alley is often wonderful, but I didn't order the right thing on Tuesday. They had a special salad - wild salmon over a salad of apples, fennel, and mixed greens with a citrus dressing. Had I made it at home, I'd have seared the salmon to medium rare, and put the warm filet over the top of the dressed salad. What came at the restaurant, though, was a slab of cold salmon over an uninspired salad - no hint of citrus in the dressing. Yuk. I did take the salmon home, since it's in a good state to be used with cream cheese, capers, red onion and bagels...but it was lousy for dinner. What a shame. We each had the soup of the day, which was a vegetarian tomato-basil soup, and we asked for some Parmesan to sprinkle on top. That was quite good. But they changed their by-the-glass pinot grigio, and that was not great. I switched to a pinot noir from California (no Oregon pinot noirs on the wine list - at least by the glass) and it was quite good. So, I didn't have much dinner, but I did have some good wine.

Next week, we're off to San Francisco to see my sister and her family for Thanksgiving. We'll also visit with friends in SF and Sonoma - and I'll get to see my Godmother for the first time in years!

We've got a week already packed with activities, including a celebration for my Mother-in-law's birthday. I just love her, contrary to the standard jokes about MILs, she's the best! We're going to see Australia (the movie, not the country) and I hope we get to the De Young museum and the new Jewish museum in the city. I'll enter updates either while I'm away or as soon as I get back.

License to Kill

2008-11-17T12:58:00.000-08:00

Had a fabulous weekend, which included a trip to the Cinerama to see Quantum of Solace. What a blast! It had more of a feeling of the Bourne movies - but Bond wasn't distrusted for too long, so I could handle it. I have a hard time when good people are misunderstood as bad guys, and can only handle it for short periods. Once M was back on Bond's side, the movie just rocked for me. I haven't been this excited about Bond since Sean Connery had the role. Daniel Craig is so very different, but I like that he's more gritty and earthy (while still looking wonderfully hot in a tuxedo). That was just wonderful!

We also went to see The Drowsy Chaperone at the 5th Ave Theater. What a funny, entertaining play! Sorry I didn't get to see it before the end of the run because it would be worth your while to check it out. The staging, acting, singing (except for 1 male lead who was a tad weak in both voice and footwork) were fantastic, and I can understand why it was such a hit on Broadway.

After the play, we strolled down to the Pike Place Market looking for a nosh and a cocktail. We were going to go somewhere on the passport card, but Place Pigalle (http://www.placepigalle-seattle.com/) caught our eye, and that was all she wrote. We read the menu and had to go in and watch the sunset...appetizers led to cocktails... led to dinner...Oh, well. There's nothing like living in denial. Neither of us could afford the extravagance, but neither of us could resist the sheer pleasure of every bite of their exquisite food. A Lillet blanc, roasted beet salad, a pinot noir from the Willamette Valley, a bouliabase filled with fresh seafood - and my DH had the duck that was so tender, he had the leftovers the next day and said that it even seemed MORE tender on Sunday than it was on Saturday night. What a fabulous evening.

Sunday night, I thought we were going to have rabbit, since my DH bought some fresh rabbit at the market, but he planned on taking that to our suburban place to experiment with one of Lidia Bastianich's (http://www.lidiasitaly.com/) recipes from her TV show. So, I threw together a stir fry of fennel, onion, fresh organic carrots, bell pepper and mushrooms, and added chicken in for the protein. If I hadn't had so much wine with dinner, it might have been passable as a diet-friendly meal, but oh, no. I had to overdo. Nothing exceeds like excess, as they say. Oh, well. Today is a new day full of big plans for changing my obcessive behavior one day at a time.

Books, Books and more Books

2008-11-13T10:45:00.000-08:00

I seem to be going through an insatiable period of reading right now. I have a very short commute - 2 miles - so it's not like I am doing all this because I need distraction on the bus. I just can't seem to stop - not that I want to, but it makes it hard to keep finding something new to read.

I'm currently reading Robert Crais' Chasing the Darkness. Since my DH, with his amazing baritone, likes to read aloud to me, I was hoping to save that one, but I couldn't wait. If you haven't met Elvis Cole, go to the Seattle Mystery Bookshop (http://www.seattlemystery.com/) and get the first of the Cole series. They have a section devoted to the first book in a series, so you can find a new (hopefully prolific) writer when you need to find something new.

I scored the last time I was there. I found a book containing the first two Nero Wolfe mysteries by Rex Stout. YUM! Archie Goodwin and Nero Wolfe take me to the world of the 30's and 40's that I just adore. The mysteries are very good, and the atmosphere even better. The best part? Rex Stout wrote from the 30's through the 70's! Huzzah! I take breaks to read other things knowing that there'll always be another Nero Wolfe to come home to...well, maybe not "always", but for a long time.

Right now I'm on a mystery break so that I can read Exodus by Leon Uris. I read it back in the 70's, but the movie was on the other day, and there was so much I didn't remember. I work near the library, so I went to their website (http://www.spl.org/) and put a hold on Exodus.

Why go to the website when I work so close to the library itself? It's easier to find a book on line and pick it up from the hold section than to try and find anything in that library. It's a pretty building - don't get me wrong - but you can take the escalator up to the top, but you have to either take the stairs or the elevator down. Yep. That's right. The escalator is a one-way transit option...Also, the "spiral" of which they're so proud makes it possible to head to the 5th floor, arrive at the 5th floor and be told by the librarian that you're on the "wrong 5th floor" for the book you want.

I no longer bother. I login, order up whatever I want, and head over to the library's hold section and easily find my book on the shelves which are organized by lastname - mine. Then I use the self-service checkout, and I'm done. Otherwise, you'd find me wandering around in circles - I mean spirals - trying to find a book in a section I can see - but can't get to without circling the building.

The picture here is the Seattle Public Library downtown. It's supposed to look like a stack of books...

South Indian Cooking

2008-11-12T08:09:00.000-08:00

When my DH and I were married this past July, our friends - our extended family - gave us a unique and most-cherished present: a day called "Teach the Newlyweds to Cook". These friends are all from India, and they got together, picked some recipes, and walked us through the process of each one. Then - of course! - we ate the results. What an incredible gift - time with people we love, doing something we love, and enjoying the fruits of our labors! My DH took notes, and we savoured the scents and tastes from a world away. It was the most wonderful day we've had in a long time. Loving to cook, as we both do, the day was a perfect way to relax.

Monday I went to my credit union to do the major name-change thing on my day-to-day accounts. I love my credit union (http://www.watermarkcu.org/). They're efficient, friendly, and don't nickel-and-dime me to death with charges for every little thing. They just moved into their new space - a new building right near their old one. I do so much banking remotely, I didn't even realize that they'd moved! Luckily, I walked there, so I was passing the new entrance on my way there.

Tuesday was Veterans' Day, but I haven't gotten my flag, yet. I was at the house in the 'burbs, though, where my DH had put out his flag for the day. Next year, we'll have one at both houses.
I was going to post quotes from Bob Brezny's site on his reaction to the results of the election, but his entire article is worth reading. I highly recommend that you head over there and see his article called "Changing the Way We Change" (http://www.freewillastrology.com/). It's really beautiful, and insightful. We've got work to do, and I hope that we - all of us - are up to it.

Comedy and Dinner

2008-11-07T08:22:00.000-08:00

Well, last night certainly made up for the theater disappointment last Sunday. We went to the Moore Theater and saw Ron White doing his latest show. He's filming a new special in Seattle, and this concert is part of that. He was outstanding! His old-style delivery, standing there with his cigar and a scotch just telling stories...wonderful. I'm just sorry it had to be on a Thursday night, because I'm awfully tired this morning!

Before the show we went to the Buenos Aires Grill (http://www.buenosairescuisine.com/). The food was superb! I had the filet mignon with sweet potato fries and grilled veggies. Mark had their Argentinian grill, which is basically a sample of all the meats they roast there. Since we were in an Argentinian restaurant, I had to try an Argentinian wine - it's a rule, right? It was a malbec-syrah, and delightful. My DH liked it, too - always a plus when we like the same wine. We had so many leftovers - there's just so much meat we could eat at one time! I think they have tango dancing some evenings. We'll have to see if we can make a date for one of those nights. This is definitely a restaurant we will want to visit again and again. And, it's on the passport card (http://www.passportunlimited.com/), which gives us a little bit of a break.

Altogether a wonderful evening.

I have a country!

2008-11-05T07:38:00.000-08:00

For 8 years I've felt like a resident alien - no connection, no representation, no idea who the rest of the people inhabiting this country were...I finally feel connected. It wasn't just a win for Obama, it was a win for people to whom I can relate.

I'm avoiding the conversation I can overhear, people grousing about Dino Rossi's loss. Too bad! I'm so happy that Chris Gregoire is in office again. I think she's been great for Washington and a real friend when they were few and far between during these past 8 years.

I am now in a situation - I need a flag. My DH always flys a flag at the house, but I've never flown one at the condo in the city because I haven't felt patriotic. I've felt ashamed and embarassed. Now I'm proud and happy and hopeful! I have to go out and find myself a Stars and Stripes.

If only California wasn't so disappointing. How is it possible that even with the governor against it, they voted to ban gay marriage? WTF? Why does anyone who isn't gay CARE whether gay people get married? I just don't understand the social ignorance - but at least it's not in the white house anymore.

Two steps forward, one step back - better than it has been. Time to give prayers of thanks, and prayers for strength to keep going forward.

Interesting coincidence: Today in History is the first day that Susan B. Anthony voted legally. It's also Guy Fawkes Day - memorable to me because V For Vendetta is one of my favorite movies.

A Swing and a Miss

2008-11-03T10:38:00.001-08:00

I think my DH put it best when he described our most recent theater outting as "a swing and a miss". Since we both like silent films, I thought going to The Golem - a 1922 silent film presented by Music of Remembrance (http://www.musicofremembrance.org/) - would be something we'd both enjoy. However, the film was accompanied by several pieces of music that were oddly flawed. The "score" of the film didn't match the film, and the composer either didn't watch the film she was scoring, or had no experience with silent films. The first piece of music - Before the Ark - was very nice, but the second piece was DREADFUL. My DH walked out, and sequestered himself at the far end of Benaroya, since the wailing of the soprano was audible even outside of the small concert hall. Oh, well. We see so much good theater in Seattle, that we're bound to run into a dud once in a while.

After the concert/film, we headed over to The Wild Ginger for a nosh. It is so expensive there, but we sat at the satay bar and had a couple of the specials and some soup. I had a couple of glasses of an Estancia cabernet - yum! So, the evening wasn't an entire loss.

Next up is Ron White at the Moore -- which we refer to as "fire trap theater", since it is in such bad repair -- and dinner at the Buenos Aires Grill. My expectations are high that we'll have a good theater/dinner experience that night! Time will tell...

Cherish each day

2008-10-30T12:20:00.001-07:00

If I can't get the image problem fixed -- sometimes they appear and sometimes they don't -- I may have to move my blog. What a drag. Prepping for Halloween, and really want to be able to post pictures of the house, but may not be able to do so.

Still it's important to remember how lucky we are. My DH and I are healthy; we enjoy a good life filled with music, theater and wonderful food; we have plans to meet with friends and relatives we love over the holidays; we want for very little.

This is especially important to remember, since I just found out that a dear friend's sister just passed away from uterine cancer, and Rivka (see my blog list "Coffee and Chemo") just had a test that showed her tumors were more prominent.

Please remember your blessings, and send prayers, or good wishes of health to those who are suffering from illness and loss.

Holding my breath

2008-10-29T19:21:00.000-07:00

Well, I voted. Walked down to the King County Admin building and put my vote in the box. Now I just have to wait to find out if I have gotten my country back or not.

We're having a big charity blitz at work right now called iCare, but it's for the United Fund, which is national. If I get my country back, I'll contribute, otherwise, my charity dollars stay in Washington. In spite of rossi's hate campaign (lower-case name is purposeful), I still think that enough of Washington realizes how effective and responsible Chris Gregoire has been, so I have more faith in the intellegence of Washingtonians than I do in that of the rest of the country. When it comes to the executive office, I'm still holding my breath.

On a purely bright note, the Seattle Rep is not only offering a pay-what-you-can performance of the wonderful The Three Musketeers on Halloween, but you even get a free drink if you come in costume! If we weren't booked with recreating Snape's classroom, I'd go and see it again! Huzzah!

The picture is of a Tglinkit leader who came on board to talk with us on our cruise. He said that the two white feathers represent coming in peace, but if he came with only one - look out!

As promised, more dinner and theater

2008-10-28T11:16:00.000-07:00

Huzzah! Huzzah! The Three Musketeers at the Seattle Rep was a blast. I love the story, anyway, but they did it in such a delightful, campy way that people in the audience even hissed at the Cardinal at the end of the play. It was so much fun! I'd go again if I had any time to do it. As it is, we're booked.

After the show we went to ROTI (http://www.rotirestaurantseattle.com/). It's a new Indian restaurant (well, new to me) on lower Queen Anne in Seattle, and it was fabulous. I tried some new things, and had Idli (I'm sure I spelled that incorrectly), which was devine! I can highly recommend their vindaloo, their fresh-made naan, and their matar paneer. Unfortunately, I can't remember the name of my favorite dish - the one I ordered, no less. It was B Gorsht, I think. Anyway, it was just the right kind of spicy, interesting and yummy!

Halloween prep is in full swing. I wasn't too much help last weekend. I have a pinched nerve that makes my arm ache, and seems to zap my strength. It was difficult to put my coat on, so you can imagine how hard it was to try and put up decorations. We are doing the garage a la Snape's potion class, with a twist.

We have smoking caldrons, and bookcases filled with jars of strange things (one lights up and has eyeballs that swoosh around), but we also have a mysterious black box with a feather on top. We have Harry's wand, that we'll give the kids to try "Wingardium Leviosa". If the kids are small, we'll raise the feather; if they're old enough, the lid of the box will open and a very scary skeleton bride will pop out (accompanied by a good scream, of course). We have the pully system up, the false walls up, one bookcase set up, and the special box prepped and painted, but there is still a lot to do. As you can tell, Halloween is a big deal for us.

I'm heading over on Thursday night so that I can help with the last minute set-up, and will work from there during the day on Friday. Then, it'll be time to put on the scare, hopefully with some friends who will come to celebrate the beginning of what promises to be an interesting holiday season...

The picture is the topper from my parents' wedding cake, circa 1936. We used it for one of our cakes when we were married this past summer.

Dinner and Theater

2008-10-23T10:43:00.000-07:00

I was sick for a solid 5 days, but I want to get this down before I forget.

We went out to one of the FareStart Thursday Night Guest Chef nights. The chef was from Bengodi, and I thought the food was spectacular, and well-portioned. My DH thought everything needed salt, but was pleased, too, I think. I like going to FareStart(http://www.farestart.org/index.html) because I admire their contribution to the community by training people in the food service industry so that they can get jobs and get out of the cycle of homelessness. So it was good for the palate and soul at the same time.

Then we went to see Spring Awakenings at the Paramount Theater. The music had a Rent-like rock-and-roll sound that I liked, but the story was more like a tragic opera - incest, child abuse, a woman who'd rather see her daughter dead than pregnant, forcing her to have an abortion. Sound like a fun night out? It was a very strange experience, but the tickets were partially a donation to the Seattle Mens' Chorus, so I just bought them without researching the play. Not that it would have mattered. I'd have gone anyway. My poor DH! I think he really disliked it.

Sunday we saw some outstanding theater at the Seattle Rep - The Night Watcher. Charlayne Woodard is a marvelous storyteller. I think she gets better with every performance. This is the 3rd or 4th we've seen, and we've loved everything she's done. It's a cohesive performance of a series of stories about the children in her life, though she does not have any children of her own. In the discussion with Charlayne Woodard following the performance, she said that the question of why, even though she has such profound relationships with other children, why she chose not to have any of her own, was very important in the play's development. You can see that thread through the stories, and I think it does enrich the experience of this theater piece. It is one of the best things I've seen this year.

Next theater experience will be The Three Musketeers, also at the Seattle Rep. I love that story, and am looking forward to the show. Dangerous having high expectations, but I just can't help myself! We'll be heading there with friends, and I'm guessing we'll probably head somewhere for dinner, so there'll be more dinner/theater comments coming soon!

This picture is of our hotel in Ptuj, Slovenia.

Play and Procrastination

2008-10-07T10:12:00.001-07:00

Saw Ghost Town this weekend and loved it. It was a reward, of sorts, for having at least gotten through all the paperwork that was cluttering my dining room table. I don't know why it's so hard to get things done. I just get overwhelmed and instead of doing a little bit at a time, I end up doing nothing.

I'm having the same problem at work today. I have a problem that I need to work on. The changes I need to make are small, but finding all the places where the changes need to be inserted is like trying trying to clean out and organize my cabinets...I just can't seem to get any momentum. Well, at least there's a deadline - the only antidote I know for procrastination.

The picture here is my kitty, Shaynala. When I get home tonight, she's going to have to submit to some serious brushing!

Plays, Parks, and Restaurants

2008-09-29T12:08:00.000-07:00

I had an absolutely fabulous weekend. We went to see the Civic Light Opera's performance of 1776. Since it was at Sand Point, and there was a book sale going on, we managed to do both.

I found a book by Simon Wiesenthal called Max and Helen. It's described as a true love story of Holocaust survivors who asked SW NOT to track down their tormentor. I'm still reading Heck, Where Bad Kids Go, but it's on my list. I also got a copy of Pink Triangle about Gay people sent to concentration camps by the Nazi's. Having just finished Himmler's Jewish Tailor, I guess I'm in a Holocaust frame of mind. We only had 10 minutes at the book sale, so I just got through one small section.

Then we ran over to the theater to see the play. The actor playing John Adams did a wonderful job, but was not the strongest voice in the show. It was only unfortunate during his big solo number toward the end of the play. The rest of the time, he was able to harmonize with the other singers - the women in particular were outstanding.

After the play, we wandered through magnuson park http://www.seattle.gov/parks/magnuson/. That is a gorgeous place - and huge! I had no idea. Years ago, I'd gone to Sand Point for a production of Djinn (Annex Theater http://www.annextheatre.org/) and have been there for special performances like Circus Contraption (http://www.circuscontraption.com/), but I had never wandered the grounds of the park. We followed the sign that said "beach trail", but soon found ourselves lost amid tennis courts, the off-leash dog park...eventually, however, we made it to the beach. The mountain was out in force, and the stunningly beautiful day was even better at the beach. Incredible. It was one of those days when it's easy to remember why we live here.

Since it was Sunday night, which means prepping for work on Monday, we headed home. However, not wanting the magic of the day to end, we stopped at Serafina (http://www.serafinaseattle.com/). I've wanted to go there for some time, but we just haven't fit it in the schedule. Part of the problem is that both my DH and I are trying to lose weight, and it's a real struggle when we go out to fabulous restaurants like this one. My DH ordered a pasta dish that arrived tepid and over-salted, BUT our wonderful waiter and the manager bent over backwards to make it right. My dish was the "fish of the day" - maki shark with a wonderful, light sauce, served over couscous. It was FABULOUS. I had a glass of white wine that was crisp and light. I did eat their wonderful bread, but managed - barely - to resist dessert. Why are things that taste so good so fattening? I think the answer to that question is in the question, unfortunately.

Well, back to work, and back on track. New Year, new beginnings - this year, I'll be better than I was last year...at least, that's the plan.

Thank goodness for Rob Brezny

2008-09-24T10:20:00.000-07:00

My routine on Wednesday is to pop over to freewillastrology.com and see what poet-guru Rob Brezny has to say for the week. He always includes what he calls a "sacred advertisement" at the bottom of his readings. The one I read today is as follows:

Congratulations. Every cell in your perfect animal body is beginning to purr with luminous gratitude for the enormity of the riches you endlessly receive. You are becoming aware that each of your heart's beats originates as a gift of love directly from the Goddess herself. Any residues of hatred that had been tainting your libido are leaving you for good. You are becoming telepathically linked to the world's entire host of secret teachers, pacifist warriors, philosopher clowns, and bodhisattvas disguised as convenience store clerks.

The preceding oracle comes from Rob's book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

That sounds like something I'm going to need to remember as we are hurled into the election nonsense again this year. It's just not healthy to get so angry, but I want my country back.

There's a great song in the musical 1776 where John Adams wonders aloud "Is anybody there? Does anybody care? Does anybody see what I see?"

So much of that musical resonates with me today. I still remember when my Dad took me to see it in NY. I remember that I thought it was the story of our forefathers, but that was before I realized that this country's forefathers are actually Carnegie, Edison and Rockefeller. The gentlemen philosophers were upstaged by the captains of industry. Somewhere in the last hundred years we lost a war most of us didn't even recognize as happening.

Got hope?

BTW, the picture is from the Rodin Museum in Paris.

Quote of the Day

2008-09-23T12:34:00.000-07:00

A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell. - George Bernard Shaw

I can't imagine feeling that way - assuming, of course, I could afford a perpetual holiday. It's not that I don't like my job - I do. Well, today is not a great day for any such question, since I'm stuck doing tedious but necessary work instead of "real" engineering work. Still, though, this too will pass and I'll get back to doing the kind of work that provides some satisfaction at the end of the day.

Even with that, though, the idea of a prolonged holiday working on my condo, traveling to Italy, India, Israel and Ireland (do I have a thing for countries with I's?) sounds more like heaven than hell to me. The problem being that I have limited time and funds for such an endeavor, so I work until I can travel, then I work until I can travel again.

The picture here is our bedroom window in the Chianti region of Italy.

My Talented Husband

2008-09-22T14:19:00.000-07:00

I've just started posting pictures from our trip to Alaska, but I have to post this one to show the work that my husband does. This is a sun mask that he created for his Mom's birthday a year or so ago. This is actually his second piece. I will get a picture of his first piece - a bear mask - up here eventually, but there's no telling when, since I'm trying to just let myself post whatever I feel like posting at the moment - no plan in sight...at least, for now.

When I first encountered First Nation art, I wasn't a big fan. My art preferences were heavily influenced by Western European prejudices, and it took me a while to warm up to this art form. I'm hooked now, though, and love the work that provides my DH inspiration, as well as the work he produces himself.

Spaced out

2008-09-18T20:54:00.000-07:00

One thing I have always loved is the space program. I still remember staying up late with my Mom to watch the astronauts land on the moon. Tonight, instead of doing a myriad of things I should be doing here - cleaning, organizing, etc. - I'm watching "In the Shadow of the Moon". I just can't get enough of this stuff. Apollo 13 and The Dish are two of my favorite movies with what I call "high MVP" (multiple-viewing potential).

I just have enough time to watch it again if I end this quickly, so here's one more picture from Alaska.

Blog post number one...

2008-09-17T20:52:00.000-07:00

My DH gave me a great camera a few years ago, but it turned out to be a little more complex than my point-and-shoot attention span was able to handle. Still, I keep trying, and I have finally gotten a connector that makes it easy to get pictures off the camera and onto my computer, so I'll be uploading photos over time. This is just the first post, but I expect the blog to serve for a place to vent about good and bad service, wonderful and terrible theater and dining experiences, culinary and gardening experiments, and trip pictures. I've been talking about blogging forever. Finally, I'm here.

Here's a picture from our latest trip on a cruise to Alaska.