Just chillin'

Rob Brezsny does it again:

The books of psychologist Carl Jung provide crucial insights into the nature of the unconscious mind. To the degree that I have any skill in deciphering the part of human intelligence that works in mysterious, secretive ways, I owe a great debt to him. I want to tell you an anecdote about him that may be useful. Once, as an adult, Jung took a break from work to go strolling on a beach. While meandering, he was overcome with a spontaneous impulse to build things as he did when he was a kid. He gathered some stones and sticks and used them to construct a miniature scene, including a church. As he finished, he was visited by a flood of novel intuitions about his life. He concluded that his childlike play had called forth these revelations from his unconscious mind. I suggest you try a similar tack, Gemini: To access important information that your deep mind has been sequestering, go play a while.

I am feeling rather burned out in the job search. After so many years doing the same thing, I'm actually glad I have time for a little bit of a break - not too much, or the stress of not working will be too great - but enough so that I can get excited again about programming, technology and all the things that kept me going for so long. Right now, I just want to enjoy the summer weather and novels and spending time with the ones I love. Hopefully, my "deep mind" will show me some direction after this little respite. At least, I hope so.

Through the looking glass

Well, life has been strange enough that my "Doogie Howser" blog has taken a back seat. I can't say what it is I have been doing - because I feel a bit at sea. I have been looking into retraining options, and looking for work, and not doing much around the house, and trying to be supportive to my DH. He's started a new business - he's the local ice cream guy! He's so wonderful, and he really enjoys it, but his little ice cream truck has a bunch of problems. He had to cut his route short today because it stopped working, and this is one of our hottest weekends. It's really sad. He's going to try and work on it tomorrow. If he can't fix it, it's back to the mechanic.

I'm taking some time off of the job search to head home to see my big brother and the rest of my family back east. I'm looking forward to the people and the food, and hope the trip goes well. It would be more fun to go back there with money, but at least I'll be able to see people, and a slice of pizza isn't that much (and it's the best thing I can imagine having when I'm in NJ).

Hopefully, I'll spend more time reflecting and getting in touch with whatever the future holds. I'm sure there's a lesson in there somewhere for me, and I want to learn whatever it is. I suppose time will tell, but I would like to be more conscious of the changes and maybe that would make me feel better on this wild ride.

More when I return...

Shakespeare Knew Everything

SONNET 29
When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

Upson Downs

Well, I've had some set backs, some bad behavior, and, finally, an up day.

I interviewed for a job that would have had me working with one of my favorite people in the whole world, and - bonus! - an old friend from years ago. I didn't get it. Instead of behaving like an adult, I let myself dive down into a depression. I overate. I did no exercise. I did nothing to help myself - except for making two appointments.

The first was with Worksource to find out what kind of services they provide, and to learn more about unemployment, since I don't seem to be able to get the hang of filing on time, and keeping notes in the right way. The second was with Seattle Central Community College, where I met with the worker retraining group. After that meeting, I actually felt better. I feel like there's a way to upgrade my skills so I can more easily find a job, while keeping unemployment - and maybe even doing it better.

My DH wants to go to school, too, but I don't know if the worker retraining is something he wants to do or will be able to do - at least at the community college here in town. He has his stock trading that he does from home on the eastside in the morning, and the trek over here to the city may be too much. We'll talk about it this weekend. He should be here sometime tonight.

Why is he coming on a Thursday night? Because tomorrow is the opening day for Star Trek, and we're going to head to a matinee to save money and, hopefully, avoid the crowds that will surely be there for the evening performances.

Today was my first "good to myself" day in a long time. I didn't overeat, and I took a bubble bath. Having a non-caloric treat is a good start for leading a more reasonable life, and not undoing anything good I do.

Well, I'd better be off to bed for dreams of "Live long and prosper" - and the hope that such dreams come true for my DH and for me.

Interview Wednesday

Got an interview for that tech writing job. We'll see how it goes. I know I can do the job, but that doesn't mean I will get the job, or even that I should take the job. Possibilities, probabilities, choices, decisions...everything just makes me want to take a nap.

Gorgeous day here in Seattle. I'm heading out to the deck to ignore the mess, read my book, and have some coffee. It's too late in the day for me to be drinking coffee, but I just can't resist. Tomorrow, I'll get a new battery for my camera, and new planner pages from Franklin Covey. They're having a special where they're giving free planner pages to people who are out of work.

But today, I'll just spend time with a mystery and an americano...

Where does the time go...

So many plans, and so much time, but it doesn't feel that way. Somehow, time just gets away from me.

I had a phone interview for a tech writing job. I should hear something next week. I also did some research into certificates in web development, and what I would need to do that while on unemployment. Since it's retraining, I should be able to do it, and get some ASL classes in, too, I hope. It's not often that I have daytime hours to take classes, and the ASL classes are only offered during the day, so I'd like to take what I can toward an interpreter's certificate while I have the time.

Passover was wonderful, and a quick trip. My favorite kitty sitter is just too expensive now that I'm not working, so I like to keep trips short. It's always wonderful seeing family, and the trip home was uneventful. My DH gave up his seat on the return flight to Seattle, and got an extra ticket plus a bonus so we should be able to get back east this June. I'm anxious to see my brother, and my cousin said we could crash with her family while we're in town. That makes it much more feasible, since hotel rates in NYC are far from affordable when there's no regular income happening.

Had a wonderful night tonight. I went to a friend's house for dinner and a quick game of Texas Hold'em Dreidel. What a blast. I used to see these folks every day at work, but now I miss them all the time. It was so very good to just hang out with them again, though I did wish I also had to head to work tomorrow. Oh, well. Soon enough, I'm sure.

Weight is heading in the right direction, anyway, so I'm getting back on track, but still taking things one day at a time. Some days I have so much energy, and some days I could sleep all day long. Here's hoping that the coming week brings good news and happy tidings for everyone.

Playing catch-up

Celebrating Shabbat was wonderful - but a little overwhelming. That night, we had a lovely dinner and discussion, and my DH played poker with the teens for a while, too. It was a very cozy evening, and the next day was action-packed. If it were anything other than Shabbat, I would have said a debauch, since the food and drink didn't stop all day. We walked from house to house, and I met some amazing people, but was just pooped by the time I got home. My DH had already left for the eastside, so we didn't get to see each other that day. That was not optimal, but there's just so much wonderful stuff you can fit in a single day.

The following week was a bit of a roller coaster. Emotionally, I'm not as consistent as I wish I were. I am still deciding what to do next, and it's great to have options, but knowing how to approach them is a puzzle...Some days I'm just not up to anything, but I am getting my rest. My weight, however, is taking a back seat, as I went up a bit again this week. I'm trying to get better, but now it's Passover, and my aunt is going to cook up something wonderful because that's just the way she is! I'm just going to have to be good when I can and not beat myself up when I'm not.

Hopefully, I'll get better about keeping up with the blog, too. I think it helps me to think out loud here, at least that's how it's turned out. I was planning on documenting our outings to restaurants and theaters, but there won't be too much of that until I get a job, so I'm just playing it by ear.