On again off again

School is finally out, and I did well, though it was tougher to get to the finish line than I expected. I'm enjoying web development, but have my doubts about its ability to help me find a job when I'm through. The process of working on development projects while I'm out of work, though, is a good thing. It keeps me in the industry, even though I'm paying for the privilege instead of getting paid. That's the kicker.

There's a chance I'll have some work on a project basis soon. School has been good for giving me some sort of schedule, but having work and real deadlines will be good for me. It's amazing how easy it has been for me to slack off in just a few months.

I'm creating a work-related site. It won't be a blog, per se, but more of a showcase for projects I do either for school or work as an advertisement of sorts for my services. I've gotten the name "codestress", and will use that as my domain name. A friend from school created a logo for me, and I'm going to work on that site as soon as I find out about the project that may come my way for work.

I had an altercation with a stick blender, and the blender won. I have an injured index finger that is bloody and painful, but the doctor said it should heal on its own in about a month. For now, I'm going to change my bandage, clean off my keyboard, and head to bed.

Good night!

back from hiatus

Well, I've been to NYC and back again. School has started and I'm swamped with good work. It is fun getting some new skills and becoming more excited about technology. It seemed like such a drudge for a while, but now it's a lot of fun again, and I'm so glad!

Classes are on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so I have Mon/Wed/Fri to take care of other things. So, eventually, when I'm not giving into my natural laziness, I should be able to get a bit of work done around the house.

Saw UP this past weekend with my husband. I expected funny, but I didn't expect touching. I was tearing up more than once during a cartoon! Who'd a thunk it? It was wonderful, and I'm glad we went - even though I had a ton of homework to complete, and didn't really have the time. It's good to do non-work things together every once in a while to remember that we got married because we enjoy spending time together!

Nothing much else is new. Hopefully, my new found excitement in technology will result in some work coming my way soon, and life can go back to what I used to see as "normal".

Just chillin'

Rob Brezsny does it again:

The books of psychologist Carl Jung provide crucial insights into the nature of the unconscious mind. To the degree that I have any skill in deciphering the part of human intelligence that works in mysterious, secretive ways, I owe a great debt to him. I want to tell you an anecdote about him that may be useful. Once, as an adult, Jung took a break from work to go strolling on a beach. While meandering, he was overcome with a spontaneous impulse to build things as he did when he was a kid. He gathered some stones and sticks and used them to construct a miniature scene, including a church. As he finished, he was visited by a flood of novel intuitions about his life. He concluded that his childlike play had called forth these revelations from his unconscious mind. I suggest you try a similar tack, Gemini: To access important information that your deep mind has been sequestering, go play a while.

I am feeling rather burned out in the job search. After so many years doing the same thing, I'm actually glad I have time for a little bit of a break - not too much, or the stress of not working will be too great - but enough so that I can get excited again about programming, technology and all the things that kept me going for so long. Right now, I just want to enjoy the summer weather and novels and spending time with the ones I love. Hopefully, my "deep mind" will show me some direction after this little respite. At least, I hope so.

Through the looking glass

Well, life has been strange enough that my "Doogie Howser" blog has taken a back seat. I can't say what it is I have been doing - because I feel a bit at sea. I have been looking into retraining options, and looking for work, and not doing much around the house, and trying to be supportive to my DH. He's started a new business - he's the local ice cream guy! He's so wonderful, and he really enjoys it, but his little ice cream truck has a bunch of problems. He had to cut his route short today because it stopped working, and this is one of our hottest weekends. It's really sad. He's going to try and work on it tomorrow. If he can't fix it, it's back to the mechanic.

I'm taking some time off of the job search to head home to see my big brother and the rest of my family back east. I'm looking forward to the people and the food, and hope the trip goes well. It would be more fun to go back there with money, but at least I'll be able to see people, and a slice of pizza isn't that much (and it's the best thing I can imagine having when I'm in NJ).

Hopefully, I'll spend more time reflecting and getting in touch with whatever the future holds. I'm sure there's a lesson in there somewhere for me, and I want to learn whatever it is. I suppose time will tell, but I would like to be more conscious of the changes and maybe that would make me feel better on this wild ride.

More when I return...

Shakespeare Knew Everything

SONNET 29
When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

Upson Downs

Well, I've had some set backs, some bad behavior, and, finally, an up day.

I interviewed for a job that would have had me working with one of my favorite people in the whole world, and - bonus! - an old friend from years ago. I didn't get it. Instead of behaving like an adult, I let myself dive down into a depression. I overate. I did no exercise. I did nothing to help myself - except for making two appointments.

The first was with Worksource to find out what kind of services they provide, and to learn more about unemployment, since I don't seem to be able to get the hang of filing on time, and keeping notes in the right way. The second was with Seattle Central Community College, where I met with the worker retraining group. After that meeting, I actually felt better. I feel like there's a way to upgrade my skills so I can more easily find a job, while keeping unemployment - and maybe even doing it better.

My DH wants to go to school, too, but I don't know if the worker retraining is something he wants to do or will be able to do - at least at the community college here in town. He has his stock trading that he does from home on the eastside in the morning, and the trek over here to the city may be too much. We'll talk about it this weekend. He should be here sometime tonight.

Why is he coming on a Thursday night? Because tomorrow is the opening day for Star Trek, and we're going to head to a matinee to save money and, hopefully, avoid the crowds that will surely be there for the evening performances.

Today was my first "good to myself" day in a long time. I didn't overeat, and I took a bubble bath. Having a non-caloric treat is a good start for leading a more reasonable life, and not undoing anything good I do.

Well, I'd better be off to bed for dreams of "Live long and prosper" - and the hope that such dreams come true for my DH and for me.

Interview Wednesday

Got an interview for that tech writing job. We'll see how it goes. I know I can do the job, but that doesn't mean I will get the job, or even that I should take the job. Possibilities, probabilities, choices, decisions...everything just makes me want to take a nap.

Gorgeous day here in Seattle. I'm heading out to the deck to ignore the mess, read my book, and have some coffee. It's too late in the day for me to be drinking coffee, but I just can't resist. Tomorrow, I'll get a new battery for my camera, and new planner pages from Franklin Covey. They're having a special where they're giving free planner pages to people who are out of work.

But today, I'll just spend time with a mystery and an americano...