First Thursday

Still getting used to the fact that I'm soon leaving my job. I'm remarkably calm right now, but I think that's probably just a level of denial, but the intensity of prayer is also higher, and I think that keeps me calmer than I would otherwise be.

I'm on a mailing list called "Torah Thought of the Day" through http://torahbyemail.blogspot.com/ and one came up yesterday:

"Rava taught: Lifespan, children and livelihood depend not on merit, but on mazal."(Talmud, Moed Katan 28a)

When I thought about mazal, I thought of "Mazol Tov!" -- and the idea that the Talmud would say it was just "luck" reminded me of a something a Buddhist teacher once told me when something hard happened. He said, "Congratulations!" His feeling was that it is only through difficulties that we grow, coming closer to becoming our authentic selves. That development can only occur when there's something to struggle against or confront in "battle".

In meditating on this thought of the day, I also reached out to friends who are more learned in Torah/Talmud, and I may find as I absorb what they shared that it will be useful to put some of it up here on my blog -- thinking out loud in the blogosphere to better comprehend the information, rather the meaning of the information that I received from them.

The gist of what I understand so far is that mazal isn't luck in a magical thinking way, but rather destiny - something that isn't because of something I did or didn't do as much as something that I need to do. I still have to figure out what that is.

What's next? I have no idea.