We had a successful "gingerbread decorating" party last Saturday. What a treat! My DH went above-and-beyond baking and assembling 11 houses so the kids could get right to the fun part of decorating them and making them their own. He also made cookies for smaller "landscapes" and it was all good -- too good! Oy, the eating! Still, it was so good to have time with friends. That, after all, is the heart of the holiday - but food is a close second!
We celebrate both Xmas and Hanukkah, so we have twice the eating opportunities. This weekend is brisket and latkes, and Xmas Eve is shrimp creole by the fire. Xmas morning, Santa brings bagels and lox (with lots of capers and onions) as well as presents. Then NYE means braised lamb and a midnight dessert buffet at the Seattle Rep, where we're going to see You Can't Take It With You, and then dance and munch until the fireworks there at the Seattle Center. Then it's back to "real life" and sensible eating as we start the new year...
One thing that's been tough this holiday season is that we usually give a lot to charity at this time of year. The Seattle Center has a giving tree, and we used to select a couple of the elderly and a couple of kids and buy presents for them. We just couldn't do it this year. No extravagant gifts for ourselves, of course, but no big donations to our favorite charities, either. Here's hoping that next year puts us in a better position to give to the organizations who are doing such good work.
One organization in particular is FareStart. They train homeless people to work in the food industry so that they can get jobs and change their lives. They are a great group doing important grass-roots work to change lives in a positive way - good for people/good for Seattle. I love these guys. YouTube has a number of videos of FareStart success stories. This one came in this month's newsletter, and I think it's worth sharing.
If I don't get back to blogging before the new year, happy holidays to one and all!
FareStart:
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
How can they sleep at night?
Worked at home today because there's a threat of snow. The rest of the country would laugh at Seattle and our fear of flurries, but it's a safer place if I'm not on the road in snow. I have to be in the 'burbs for our annual holiday gingerbread house decorating party, so I got here while the driving was easy.
Anyway, my DH listens to CNBC all day long, so some of it penetrated even though I'm pretty good at blocking out sounds when I'm working. The discussion today about the car company bailouts really touched me. After giving a hundred billion dollars to bail out the financial companies without so much as a request as to how they were going to spend the money, the feds are requesting that the UAW take a cut in pay before they'll even offer a bridge loan to keep America working.
So, if you're a big mucky-muck in a failed financial house, you can get a grant from the feds to give yourself a bonus, but if you're a working guy making cars on the line at GM, you have to work for less to even have a job.
How do those Republicans even sleep at night with the inequity they continue to defend?
Today was also the day that one of the biggest market makers was arrested for a 50 billion dollar ponzi scam he's been running. And his business was regulated. Huh? Yeah, financial leaders are ever so trustworthy...NOT.
Anyway, my DH listens to CNBC all day long, so some of it penetrated even though I'm pretty good at blocking out sounds when I'm working. The discussion today about the car company bailouts really touched me. After giving a hundred billion dollars to bail out the financial companies without so much as a request as to how they were going to spend the money, the feds are requesting that the UAW take a cut in pay before they'll even offer a bridge loan to keep America working.
So, if you're a big mucky-muck in a failed financial house, you can get a grant from the feds to give yourself a bonus, but if you're a working guy making cars on the line at GM, you have to work for less to even have a job.
How do those Republicans even sleep at night with the inequity they continue to defend?
Today was also the day that one of the biggest market makers was arrested for a 50 billion dollar ponzi scam he's been running. And his business was regulated. Huh? Yeah, financial leaders are ever so trustworthy...NOT.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Ambiance == Darkness
I went to dinner last night with friends to a restaurant I've been to before and LOVED. It had great seafood, the dining room had a warm and cozy feel - just wonderful. However, sometime between the last time I went there and last night something drastic happened.
They lost their collective minds.
The restaurant Six Seven in the Edgewater Hotel used to be a seriously good restaurant. In a city that has more than its share of EXCELLENT restaurants, that's something about which a restaurant (and a hotel restaurant, no less) could be seriously proud. I should have known, though, as soon as we sat down that something was seriously amiss. The restaurant was so dark that we had to tilt a candle to even read the menu, and the layout of the menu was confusing as well (with no help from the waiter to ease our way into ordering).
Having made it through the menu by bailing out and opting for the 2 people for $67 4-course dinner, we still had hopes that the food would dazzle.It's not bad, but it is no longer in the top rankings of Seattle restaurants. My DH had the steak option (we had options for salad, entree, and dessert) and I had the fish. My sea bass was wonderful, but his steak arrived cold. Not only that, the DISH was hot, but the food was cold... Huh? The same thing happened with the soup - mine was fine, but his was cold. Maybe they had it out for him (not).
The desserts were wonderful - a gingerbread crust on a vanilla cheesecake and a molten-lava chocolate cake - so they must have kept their pastry chef. However, they seem to have lost their previous chef - or maybe they have the same chef, but he's gone as loony as the bozo who decided to up the ambiance by turning the lights off. What a disappointment - and expense. So disappointing to see a once stellar restaurant slide down hill like this...such a shame.
I'm just bleeding money these days, and it has to stop. We all received a notice that there will be a reduction-in-force, probably after the holidays, and we need to be tightening our belts. I guess I'm finished with my holiday shopping...
They lost their collective minds.
The restaurant Six Seven in the Edgewater Hotel used to be a seriously good restaurant. In a city that has more than its share of EXCELLENT restaurants, that's something about which a restaurant (and a hotel restaurant, no less) could be seriously proud. I should have known, though, as soon as we sat down that something was seriously amiss. The restaurant was so dark that we had to tilt a candle to even read the menu, and the layout of the menu was confusing as well (with no help from the waiter to ease our way into ordering).
Having made it through the menu by bailing out and opting for the 2 people for $67 4-course dinner, we still had hopes that the food would dazzle.
The desserts were wonderful - a gingerbread crust on a vanilla cheesecake and a molten-lava chocolate cake - so they must have kept their pastry chef. However, they seem to have lost their previous chef - or maybe they have the same chef, but he's gone as loony as the bozo who decided to up the ambiance by turning the lights off. What a disappointment - and expense. So disappointing to see a once stellar restaurant slide down hill like this...such a shame.
I'm just bleeding money these days, and it has to stop. We all received a notice that there will be a reduction-in-force, probably after the holidays, and we need to be tightening our belts. I guess I'm finished with my holiday shopping...
Monday, December 8, 2008
Synchronicity
Sometimes it seems prayers, like questions, are answered with more questions. I still have some praying and thinking to do about my issues with being faithful to my chosen family, while being accepting of my husband's family (and my birth family, too). There's a post over at Friar Yid that touches me to the core.
http://friaryid.blogspot.com/2008/12/reflections-on-yarzeit.html
He's not talking about me at all. But his use of the story of Abraham choosing to sacrifice his own son (even though the son is given a reprieve) rather than disobey G-d made me see the orthodoxy in my unorthodox life. I haven't worked out the nuances, yet, but I can see the spark of an answer amid the myriad of new questions.
Once, in M*A*S*H, a crazy guy who thought he was Jesus was asked why G-d doesn't always answer our prayers, and he said he always answers, but sometimes the answer is "no". I think what's happening is that we're not asking the right questions. Sometimes the answer is in the form of more questions to help us get to the right one. At least that's what I think.
One time, when I was a kid, my dad had a friend who went through some mid-life crisis, left his wife, started dating a much younger woman, and started dressing like some "hipster". It was embarrassing. I couldn't look at him. One night, he gave me a present - a board game called The Peter Pan Game (doubt he saw the irony) which was really cool. However, I couldn't look at him or at his young girlfriend. I just wanted to sink into the floor.
My dad told me later that I was rude to his friend, and that it hurt him to have me be so disrespectful. I never wanted to hurt my dad - but I felt like "pretending" to respect this guy was dishonest. I did a lot of thinking and praying then, too. It occurred to me that if I were only going to treat people with respect whom I thought deserved respect, then I was going to have to spend all my time judging people's behavior before I could do anything. That also meant that my behavior would be controlled by the behavior of others instead of being self determined. If they were respect-worthy, then I would be respectful; if they weren't, then I would be disrespectful. That just didn't seem right.
I finally decided that I could treat people with respect - not because they deserved respect - but because I deserved respect. Then it didn't matter whether they deserved it or not. I could treat this friend of my dad's with respect without feeling like a phony, not disappoint my father, and still feel true to myself.
There's got to be a solution like that for me here, too. It's just much easier for me to handle people hurting - or trying to hurt - me, than watching people hurt those whom I love. So this one is going to take more work, but I feel like the answer is closer now.
http://friaryid.blogspot.com/2008/12/reflections-on-yarzeit.html
He's not talking about me at all. But his use of the story of Abraham choosing to sacrifice his own son (even though the son is given a reprieve) rather than disobey G-d made me see the orthodoxy in my unorthodox life. I haven't worked out the nuances, yet, but I can see the spark of an answer amid the myriad of new questions.
Once, in M*A*S*H, a crazy guy who thought he was Jesus was asked why G-d doesn't always answer our prayers, and he said he always answers, but sometimes the answer is "no". I think what's happening is that we're not asking the right questions. Sometimes the answer is in the form of more questions to help us get to the right one. At least that's what I think.
One time, when I was a kid, my dad had a friend who went through some mid-life crisis, left his wife, started dating a much younger woman, and started dressing like some "hipster". It was embarrassing. I couldn't look at him. One night, he gave me a present - a board game called The Peter Pan Game (doubt he saw the irony) which was really cool. However, I couldn't look at him or at his young girlfriend. I just wanted to sink into the floor.
My dad told me later that I was rude to his friend, and that it hurt him to have me be so disrespectful. I never wanted to hurt my dad - but I felt like "pretending" to respect this guy was dishonest. I did a lot of thinking and praying then, too. It occurred to me that if I were only going to treat people with respect whom I thought deserved respect, then I was going to have to spend all my time judging people's behavior before I could do anything. That also meant that my behavior would be controlled by the behavior of others instead of being self determined. If they were respect-worthy, then I would be respectful; if they weren't, then I would be disrespectful. That just didn't seem right.
I finally decided that I could treat people with respect - not because they deserved respect - but because I deserved respect. Then it didn't matter whether they deserved it or not. I could treat this friend of my dad's with respect without feeling like a phony, not disappoint my father, and still feel true to myself.
There's got to be a solution like that for me here, too. It's just much easier for me to handle people hurting - or trying to hurt - me, than watching people hurt those whom I love. So this one is going to take more work, but I feel like the answer is closer now.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Mumbai
Sent an email to a friend living in Mumbai, who was (thankfully) unharmed in the attack. She sent this photo of the Taj Hotel as it used to look.
If you haven't stopped by Cook-Eat-Fret http://www.cookeatfret.com/ lately, stop by and see her latest unusual post about a December Thanksgiving.
Hope you are all well, and that the holidays and the coming year bring peace to all.
If you haven't stopped by Cook-Eat-Fret http://www.cookeatfret.com/ lately, stop by and see her latest unusual post about a December Thanksgiving.
Hope you are all well, and that the holidays and the coming year bring peace to all.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
A new day
Okay, that's out. Now I just have to suck it up and get on with life. So, what's more "life" than love, food and travel?
Thanksgiving this year was in San Francisco. We go somewhere new each year (next year might be Florida) since there are birthdays and the holiday to celebrate. Someday, we'll have it home in Seattle again, but I have no complaints about this year's activities!
We arrived on Monday and went to see a dear friend who welcomed us with a fire blazing in the fireplace, wine and delicious food and wonderful company. She apologized for keeping it simple - just chicken and veggies and potatoes, but isn't that perfect? After all, it was a week that was bound to be filled with the abundant and exotic, so a simple meal was exactly what we needed (and enjoyed). Another friend was with us, and kept the conversation interesting and even drove us back to our hotel. That's not as easy as it sounds in SF! It was a great night grazing and talking - the perfect way to start the vacation.
The next day, we wandered the city and tired ourselves out. We should have gone to the new Jewish museum, but I needed a nap before our excursion to North Beach for dinner with friends who were coming in from out of town. They live about 45 minutes from BART, and then it takes them an hour to get into the city, so it's not something they do often. I think it was as much fun for them as it was for us to visit that beautiful place.
We did a quick scan of our options for dinner in North Beach, and settled on an unusual choice. We went to Mangarosa (http://www.mangarosasf.com/), which is a Brazilian/Italian restaurant. The food was great and the company even better, but we didn't see any dancers on the bar! We took the cable car up Powell and back, so we could hop off at the street where my MIL and BIL were staying, and had the chance to visit with them a bit before we said good night. We could have hopped on the cable car again to get down to our hotel, but we just walked. The weather was mild, and walking DOWN Powell St is easy.
The next day was my MIL's birthday. We tried to visit the Jewish Museum, but it was closed - as was SFMOMA, so we just walked around the Ferry Plaza building and had lunch there. What a fabulous place! There was a stall there that sold nothing but mushrooms - tons of different kinds of fresh and dried mushrooms. There's a mushroom galette recipe (http://smittenkitchen.com/2006/10/when-the-funk-hits-the-fan/) that I've been longing to try, but haven't done so, yet. I'm not a pie crust maven, so I have been hesitant to try it.
Anyway, it was birthday-day, so we went to see the movie, Australia. There's no denying that Hugh Jackman is gorgeous, and the child actor was so beautiful that I loved seeing his face fill the screen. The movie, though, is a very, very, very long melodrama. It's the kind of movie that you'd expect to generate a hiss from the audience whenever the villain comes on screen. I took a break midway in the film, and then came back when the WWII action started. If you're going to have a long movie, at least blow things up!
After the movie, we took a break to share some wine in our hotel room, and then went do dinner at The House (http://www.thehse.com/). We opted for multiple appetizers and two entrees for 4 people. That worked out perfectly! We had hamachi with capers and avocado, grilled calamari with bonita flakes, rib eye steak perfectly cooked medium rare, black cod that was so good it was sweet, crab cakes for which the presentation was more like a volcano than any crab cake plate I've ever seen, and a butter lettuce salad with walnuts and gorgonzola cheese and one with a wonderful vinegrette that had broiled chicken livers (my MIL's favorite). All that with a Nagy2 Pinot Noir that was outstanding, and a bargain compared to the Willamette Valley Pinot Noir on the menu. Crowded and noisy, but the restaurant was still a wonderful success.
Thursday, I grabbed an Italian coffee at Bellini's right near the hotel, and then we took BART up to Pleasant Hill for an old-fashioned Thanksgiving dinner. It was wonderful spending time with my sister and her family. I don't get enough time with her, but cherish the time we do have. Dinner was great, and the wine was ever-flowing. I made a chocolate dessert, the recipe for which I got from Claudia at (http://www.cookeatfret.com/) and my sister made a birthday cake for her husband whose birthday fell on the perfect day this year, and my MIL made a wonderful pumpkin pecan "dump cake". I have to get the recipe for that one, since it looked incredibly easy and everyone commented on it. That's the best kind of recipe - more kudos than work!
Friday, we had breakfast at Sears (http://www.searsfinefood.com/). Sears is associated with appliances for me - or was until I went to this wonderful place in SF that's been in business since 1938. I had a veggie omelet, my DH tried their signature pancakes, and I had a bite - they were fabulous! My MIL had an omelet, too, and my BIL had a club sandwich that looked fantastic.
After that, my DH and I took off for Santa Rosa to stay with friends. We had leftovers - a real treat for those who travel during Thanksgiving, and have no leftovers of their own - and played a game called Sequence. It was fun chatting and laughing and playing. What a lovely couple they are, and their home is so cozy and warm. Their "city" is just the right size, too. We walked around their downtown the next day, stopped for breakfast at a friendly deli, and window shopped while we caught up on what's happening in our lives. I only met them after my DH and I started dating, but love them now like I've known them forever.
Finally, on Saturday, we took off for our last "event" of the trip. We went to visit my cousin and her family - including my Godmother!! - in Sonoma. WOW! Their house is beautiful, but their spirits and warmth are even more so. Seeing my Godmother in such good health and spirits made my week! We had a blast seeing them, and I hope we stay in closer touch from now on.
When we got back to the city, my DH and I were tired - but not too tired to head to Transporter 3. Yippee!! It was fantastic! Transporter was great; Transporter 2 was silly; Transporter 3 got it right. It was tense and fun - though the choppy direction which seems de rigeur these days in action films was a bit much. I like watching Stratham do his martial arts thing, and the cuts were a little distracting.
Next day was BART to bus to airport and home. Whew! We made it. I was a little dazed on Monday at work, but it was a great trip. I'll come back and edit this to add some links, fix spelling errors, etc. but want to get this posted now after my "down" post yesterday.
There are good things in life. I just have to keep praying, hoping, and plugging along.
Thanksgiving this year was in San Francisco. We go somewhere new each year (next year might be Florida) since there are birthdays and the holiday to celebrate. Someday, we'll have it home in Seattle again, but I have no complaints about this year's activities!
We arrived on Monday and went to see a dear friend who welcomed us with a fire blazing in the fireplace, wine and delicious food and wonderful company. She apologized for keeping it simple - just chicken and veggies and potatoes, but isn't that perfect? After all, it was a week that was bound to be filled with the abundant and exotic, so a simple meal was exactly what we needed (and enjoyed). Another friend was with us, and kept the conversation interesting and even drove us back to our hotel. That's not as easy as it sounds in SF! It was a great night grazing and talking - the perfect way to start the vacation.
The next day, we wandered the city and tired ourselves out. We should have gone to the new Jewish museum, but I needed a nap before our excursion to North Beach for dinner with friends who were coming in from out of town. They live about 45 minutes from BART, and then it takes them an hour to get into the city, so it's not something they do often. I think it was as much fun for them as it was for us to visit that beautiful place.
We did a quick scan of our options for dinner in North Beach, and settled on an unusual choice. We went to Mangarosa (http://www.mangarosasf.com/), which is a Brazilian/Italian restaurant. The food was great and the company even better, but we didn't see any dancers on the bar! We took the cable car up Powell and back, so we could hop off at the street where my MIL and BIL were staying, and had the chance to visit with them a bit before we said good night. We could have hopped on the cable car again to get down to our hotel, but we just walked. The weather was mild, and walking DOWN Powell St is easy.
The next day was my MIL's birthday. We tried to visit the Jewish Museum, but it was closed - as was SFMOMA, so we just walked around the Ferry Plaza building and had lunch there. What a fabulous place! There was a stall there that sold nothing but mushrooms - tons of different kinds of fresh and dried mushrooms. There's a mushroom galette recipe (http://smittenkitchen.com/2006/10/when-the-funk-hits-the-fan/) that I've been longing to try, but haven't done so, yet. I'm not a pie crust maven, so I have been hesitant to try it.
Anyway, it was birthday-day, so we went to see the movie, Australia. There's no denying that Hugh Jackman is gorgeous, and the child actor was so beautiful that I loved seeing his face fill the screen. The movie, though, is a very, very, very long melodrama. It's the kind of movie that you'd expect to generate a hiss from the audience whenever the villain comes on screen. I took a break midway in the film, and then came back when the WWII action started. If you're going to have a long movie, at least blow things up!
After the movie, we took a break to share some wine in our hotel room, and then went do dinner at The House (http://www.thehse.com/). We opted for multiple appetizers and two entrees for 4 people. That worked out perfectly! We had hamachi with capers and avocado, grilled calamari with bonita flakes, rib eye steak perfectly cooked medium rare, black cod that was so good it was sweet, crab cakes for which the presentation was more like a volcano than any crab cake plate I've ever seen, and a butter lettuce salad with walnuts and gorgonzola cheese and one with a wonderful vinegrette that had broiled chicken livers (my MIL's favorite). All that with a Nagy2 Pinot Noir that was outstanding, and a bargain compared to the Willamette Valley Pinot Noir on the menu. Crowded and noisy, but the restaurant was still a wonderful success.
Thursday, I grabbed an Italian coffee at Bellini's right near the hotel, and then we took BART up to Pleasant Hill for an old-fashioned Thanksgiving dinner. It was wonderful spending time with my sister and her family. I don't get enough time with her, but cherish the time we do have. Dinner was great, and the wine was ever-flowing. I made a chocolate dessert, the recipe for which I got from Claudia at (http://www.cookeatfret.com/) and my sister made a birthday cake for her husband whose birthday fell on the perfect day this year, and my MIL made a wonderful pumpkin pecan "dump cake". I have to get the recipe for that one, since it looked incredibly easy and everyone commented on it. That's the best kind of recipe - more kudos than work!
Friday, we had breakfast at Sears (http://www.searsfinefood.com/). Sears is associated with appliances for me - or was until I went to this wonderful place in SF that's been in business since 1938. I had a veggie omelet, my DH tried their signature pancakes, and I had a bite - they were fabulous! My MIL had an omelet, too, and my BIL had a club sandwich that looked fantastic.
After that, my DH and I took off for Santa Rosa to stay with friends. We had leftovers - a real treat for those who travel during Thanksgiving, and have no leftovers of their own - and played a game called Sequence. It was fun chatting and laughing and playing. What a lovely couple they are, and their home is so cozy and warm. Their "city" is just the right size, too. We walked around their downtown the next day, stopped for breakfast at a friendly deli, and window shopped while we caught up on what's happening in our lives. I only met them after my DH and I started dating, but love them now like I've known them forever.
Finally, on Saturday, we took off for our last "event" of the trip. We went to visit my cousin and her family - including my Godmother!! - in Sonoma. WOW! Their house is beautiful, but their spirits and warmth are even more so. Seeing my Godmother in such good health and spirits made my week! We had a blast seeing them, and I hope we stay in closer touch from now on.
When we got back to the city, my DH and I were tired - but not too tired to head to Transporter 3. Yippee!! It was fantastic! Transporter was great; Transporter 2 was silly; Transporter 3 got it right. It was tense and fun - though the choppy direction which seems de rigeur these days in action films was a bit much. I like watching Stratham do his martial arts thing, and the cuts were a little distracting.
Next day was BART to bus to airport and home. Whew! We made it. I was a little dazed on Monday at work, but it was a great trip. I'll come back and edit this to add some links, fix spelling errors, etc. but want to get this posted now after my "down" post yesterday.
There are good things in life. I just have to keep praying, hoping, and plugging along.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Harder than I thought
I wanted to do a post yesterday as a memorial to Matthew Shepard (http://www.matthewshepard.org/site/PageServer). Rather than write something on the day he died, I thought it would be better to celebrate his birthday. However, all I could manage to do was to make a donation and ponder my current situation.
I lived most of my adult life in a cocoon of sorts. Living as a gay woman in the Bay Area, and even here in Seattle, enabled me to surround myself with people I could trust implicitly and explicitly. I never had to question that these people, whom I love, would ever vote to make the lives of gay people anywhere more difficult than they already are. I marginalized straight people, picking and choosing my companions with ease. I was purposefully isolated, and life was good.
Then I had the wonderful fortune to fall in love with the most wonderful man in the world. He is beloved of my friends and welcomed as family, and I've been lucky enough to be welcomed into my DH's family as well. But I find myself in a quandry.
One problem is that I had a community, but there is no real "straight community". The only communities I can recognize are the subcultures by ethnicity, but none seem as cohesive as the gay community. I traveled the world by myself, yet never felt alone because there "family" was everywhere. Now, I don't feel that way - or I do, but I'm not really a part anymore.
Still, I'm meeting people whom I like - a lot - but then I find out that they actively vote to hurt the people I love - MY family. So, what do I do? They're not openly hostile. I don't think any of them would physically attack anyone. Still, it's not very comfortable. I keep thinking about what Dr. King said (paraphrasing) that, in the end, it's not the words of our enemies we'll remember, but the silence of our friends.
All this is coming at a time when my body is going through hostile changes - like it's Icarus and has to get to the sun as fast as possible. Doesn't make it easy to stay sane or rational. Over-reactions are the norm, and I just feel like screaming or crying or both.
This is a whole new world for me. I'm not in my comfy ghetto anymore, and I'm not sure how to live here, but it's my life. I wouldn't trade my love, my life, for anything, so I just have to learn to cope without disappointing Dr. King. I don't want to be a silent friend, but I don't know how to be heard, either. It just makes me so sad.
I lived most of my adult life in a cocoon of sorts. Living as a gay woman in the Bay Area, and even here in Seattle, enabled me to surround myself with people I could trust implicitly and explicitly. I never had to question that these people, whom I love, would ever vote to make the lives of gay people anywhere more difficult than they already are. I marginalized straight people, picking and choosing my companions with ease. I was purposefully isolated, and life was good.
Then I had the wonderful fortune to fall in love with the most wonderful man in the world. He is beloved of my friends and welcomed as family, and I've been lucky enough to be welcomed into my DH's family as well. But I find myself in a quandry.
One problem is that I had a community, but there is no real "straight community". The only communities I can recognize are the subcultures by ethnicity, but none seem as cohesive as the gay community. I traveled the world by myself, yet never felt alone because there "family" was everywhere. Now, I don't feel that way - or I do, but I'm not really a part anymore.
Still, I'm meeting people whom I like - a lot - but then I find out that they actively vote to hurt the people I love - MY family. So, what do I do? They're not openly hostile. I don't think any of them would physically attack anyone. Still, it's not very comfortable. I keep thinking about what Dr. King said (paraphrasing) that, in the end, it's not the words of our enemies we'll remember, but the silence of our friends.
All this is coming at a time when my body is going through hostile changes - like it's Icarus and has to get to the sun as fast as possible. Doesn't make it easy to stay sane or rational. Over-reactions are the norm, and I just feel like screaming or crying or both.
This is a whole new world for me. I'm not in my comfy ghetto anymore, and I'm not sure how to live here, but it's my life. I wouldn't trade my love, my life, for anything, so I just have to learn to cope without disappointing Dr. King. I don't want to be a silent friend, but I don't know how to be heard, either. It just makes me so sad.
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