Shabbos

Well, the first week is coming to a close, and - luckily for me - my DH and I have a very special night planned. Friends from LA are up to visit, and they are staying with a family in Seward Park. We have been invited to join them for candle lighting and Shabbos dinner. I am looking forward to having a spiritual evening, and letting go of the sadness and loss - turning it over, as a 12-stepper would say. Since my DH is Jewish, he's been invited to light candles tonight. I hope he does, and we'll hear the brachot (since I can't say them, and I don't think he knows them). What perfect timing!

Next week I will head over to the outplacement company and spend some time figuring out what to do. In the meantime, I bought a book that I'm finding very interesting. The title makes it sound like it's about technical interviews, but it's more than that. It's a techno-centric "What color is your parachute". The first chapter asks questions to figure out just what kind of programmer I like being - or if coding is even something I want to continue doing. It's going to take a fast pace to get through it in time to do me some good, though.

As for food and exercise, 4 days bad and 3 days good set me back a bit, but I'm back on track now. Two steps forward, one step back. I have a feeling that's a tempo I'm going to learn by heart.

Day two

Took a different route today on my walk. I braved the stairs that go up the hill from my house. They are daunting, and I usually skirt around the long way rather than tackle them, but today, I just forced myself to do them. I put my iPod on shuffle and hit the road. It was pretty entertaining, actually, since my taste in music is so eclectic that I found myself giggling as the songs switched from one genre to another. To give you an idea, here's the trip up the hill to the top of Queen Anne:

Itzhak Perlman - klezmer music
Marvin Gaye
The Commodores
Hadag Nachash - Israeli rap
La Cage Aux Folles - soundtrack
Django Reinhardt & Stephane Grappelli

Luckily, the rap music came up on shuffle right when I was hitting the worst of the stairs. It really helped me get to the top! Of course, I was wiped out by the time I hit the street, so my walking speed slowed a bit at first, but then I cranked it up - Thanks, Marvin! - and got to the top of Queen Anne in good time. Now I have some fresh Peets coffee -- on sale at Safeway!

Sending off my resume to a friend who knows someone who is hiring. Hope it's not too late to be considered for the job. The sun is out, and my mood is up, so today - day two - is a good day.

Eating and drinking is still a struggle, but I'm determined to get better

Day one

Took this morning to sleep in for a change, but my plans for getting out and doing anything were a bit thwarted. Mark was here and I let myself get distracted by a show called Kings. But, now that it's over, I'm going to take off and go for a walk and clear my head. There are plenty of things to do around the house and on line for the outplacement company, but I need to just clear my head and get some perspective. Plus, I've been dreadful with eating and drinking and need to get some exercise in.

So, off I go into the wild gray yonder.

The day is here

After a whirlwind weekend, the last day is here. I'm still a little dazed from all the activity over the past few days, so I'm going out in a bit of a cloud.

Left the city for Kirkland on Friday afternoon, and spent the evening there with my DH. Saturday, we each took a list of items to pick up at grocery stores - he went to an Indian specialty store, and I headed over to Safeway. Then we came back to the city where he cooked and I cleaned in preparation for dinner and gaming - D&D&D. Anyway, it was great fun, and the food was fabulous. I ate too much - of course, but I don't regret a thing.

Then last night, we went to see friends who practically built their 100yo house. They took it down to the framing and built it back up into a stunning home - cozy and interesting. It's just delightful - and so are they. I ate too much there, too - pretty bad being bad 2 days in a row, but that's life. Anyway, I don't regret that, either. Sometimes you just need to let loose.

Tonight is Jazz Alley with my DH, and then tomorrow, I'm heading up to the community college to do some research on classes there. I have a benefit from work that will reimburse me for classes up to a good amount, but I want to see what I can complete. The courses I was going to take at the university here would be more than the reimbursement cap AND they wouldn't be completed soon enough to help with an immediate job search, so I may have to bag that idea and do something more practical. So hard to choose.

One more bag of junk to tote home from the office, and that's it. I'll have to get used to heading to the outplacement company instead of the office just to give myself some sort of routine. In the meantime, I need to sign up for unemployment.

Geronimo!

Time for a review

Once again reviewers have led us astray. When Beverly Hill Chihuahua came out, we heard great things about it and how funny it was. What a stinker! It was too painful to even watch all the way through. It was beyond stupid. If we had very small children, we could have forced our way through it, but we don't, so we hit the "Next" button and watched some old Numb3rs episodes that Netflix also sent.

We thought, briefly, about paying full price and heading to Jazz Alley, but it would have been 45 bucks for the two of us without the drink minimum. That's just too much right now. We'll go on Monday when it's a cheap night to see the competitors in the Kobe competition. Every year, singers from Seattle compete to win a place in the Kobe, Japan competition. Last year was amazing. There was a singer who was still in high school, and we thought she was better than some headliners we've heard. She was fantastic. Anyway, we'll get a night out together then.

This weekend is shaping up to be a busy one. Saturday, we'll be in Kirkland where we'll make dinner and finish the D&D game that we started with a couple of friends of ours. Sunday, we'll have dinner with friends we haven't seen in a long time at their beautiful place in the city. Then, Monday, I'll turn in my computer, have my last free espresso, and go out to lunch with friends from work. Tuesday, I think I'll collapse!

Speaking of which, early to bed...

Potluck goodbye

They had a potluck for a farewell party of sorts at work today. My time is winding down quickly now, and I will soon (Monday) be handing in my PC and all connection to GE Healthcare. I will miss those folks - best group since CTS way back when.

Re-taking my web services certification class so I can finally take the test. Should have done it when I first went through the course, but of course I was too busy with work to take care of myself. I sure have the time for that now, though, huh?

I was hoping to get half-priced tickets for Kenny Rankin tonight, but our half-priced ticket place looks like it went out of business. What a bummer! Of all times when a service like that would be greatly appreciated, given the economic downturn, and it had to go out of business. What a bummer. On the bright side, Netflix did send us a copy of Beverly Hills Chihuahua, so we may just have a cozy dinner and movie night instead of a date out. We'll see when my DH gets to the city tonight whether we want to make the jump to full price tickets or just stay home.

The gas is still off in my building. There's a leak somewhere - they think on my floor - so we're having to get creative with cooking. No gas range, and the oven is supposedly dual fuel, so we may be able to broil, but I'm not sure. So, we're planning to put on our parkas and bbq for the first time this season and I'll use the electric oven (no broil) that I have for steaming veggies.
The PSE inspector is supposed to come by tomorrow, but it could be Friday, depending upon schedules. Just a bit of annoyance - nothing tragic.

Well, back to study. Have to do something so that next week isn't a complete freak out. Monday is the last day at work, and the first serious day of my new journey.

Friday the 13th

Had my tests this morning. I don't expect results for a week or so, but at least I made it to the appointment. Since I woke up late, that was pretty tricky. Didn't even do my weigh-in until I got back from the doctor's office (and a stop at the grocery store for dinner tonight).

So, I'm down 1 lb this week. The slowing has begun, but at least the direction is still down. If I'm going to live like a sloth, I am currently eating as much as can possibly have. That's not good. I want that Guinness next week, and I can't fit the calories in unless I get some activity in this week. Oh, to be one of those perky active types instead of one of the "Is it time for my nap, yet?" people.

Speaking of which, I at least have to get up and do the laundry instead of playing on the computer all day, but maybe just one more cup of coffee...

The Kitchen is Closed

I always have trouble staying out of the kitchen at night. I have a tendency to raid the cabinets for snacks, but I'm trying to cut that out. I allow myself to have tea, pouring it out of my lovely blue teapot into nice cups, providing a treat that isn't calorie-laden. It's still hard, though.

I have an added incentive tonight, since I need to see my doctor tomorrow for some blood work that requires that I don't eat anything after 9pm tonight until I get my blood taken at about 9:30am tomorrow. I know that I've been better about the types of food I've been eating, and I know that I feel better, but I don't know what to expect from the tests. Last time, my blood glucose level (after fasting) was too high. The last thing I need as an unemployed person is a condition that requires regular meds, even with medical coverage that will continue for 12 months whether I get another job or not.

I weigh in tomorrow morning, too. I don't have high hopes for the result, though. I was good with regard to food, but terrible with exercise. It's been so cold, that I was left to my own devices indoors, and I was just not good about doing anything. Well, we'll see what happens.

The rest of the day tomorrow will be getting my tax info together, picking up veggies for dinner, and finishing laundry -- the never-ending chore. I'm looking forward to it, strangely enough. It always seems that working makes everything else take a back seat, and I'm getting to things (slowly but surely) that I've been putting off for a long time. I must be doing better if I'm seeing a silver lining even in the prospect of doing chores around the house.

Next week, my DH and I are going to splurge and go to hear Kenny Rankin at Jazz Alley. If my blood work comes out okay, I'm going to treat myself to a Guinness, too. Everyone needs a little extra treat now and again. For now, I just have to keep reminding myself that the kitchen is closed.

Just another manic...Wednesday

The roller coaster continues, but I'm up today. People are taking up the slack, and I'm not needed so much at work, which is disheartening. It's just the way it is, though, so I am trying not to take it personally.

Other people who were laid off are being so much more active than I am with regard to the job search. I haven't even figured out what I want to do, yet. I did get an idea from one of the nicest women here at work. She has a friend who started a food-related business about 4 years ago. She's going to try and set up a time to meet so I can ask some questions and see what it would take to do a similar thing. I'd love to be doing something independent, but it all depends upon how much the start-up costs would be. I imagine that I'd still have to get some sort of job to support any entrepreneurial endeavor. We'll see.

Other than that, nothing new. One day at a time.

The week begins on Tuesday

Just couldn't make the week start yesterday. Just couldn't do it. I spent the day reading on the couch with a blanket and a very warm cat on my legs. On the bright side, it was a low-calorie day, since I didn't do anything. On the downside, I didn't do anything of value toward getting out of the funk and onto the job search or at least job preparedness.

Even Mother Nature seemed a little out of sorts. The cold and sunny morning turned into a snow storm (didn't stick) and then into a cold and cloudy evening. Just to make matters a little stranger, a tree fell and took out power for ~4000 people, of whom I was one. Just as I was going to hop in the car and head to over to Kirkland to see my DH, my car wouldn't start. I need a new battery - I know that - but I thought I could wait a bit for it. I don't know what I did to drain the battery so badly, but it's gone, gone, gone.

So, Mrs. Lincoln, what did you think of the play?

Today is a new day, and I am still on track with my eating plan. I can't control my job (or lack thereof) situation, but at least I can control my eating. I just need to up the exercise a bit. 2 pounds per week doesn't sound like a lot, and it's not, but now that I'm into the program and am only 4+ pounds away from my next milestone, it feels pretty good. We had dinner at friends' the other night, and the main course was chicken-fried steak. I'm sure it was good, but I just brought my own dinner -- two large ravioli over a bed of spinach -- and shared the green beans that they had prepared and a large salad. I didn't miss the entree (and the rich sauce). Staying on track is more satisfying now than eating anything I please. It's an interesting change of attitude, and I hope contributes to some needed self-confidence when I get out there interviewing.

BTW, I added a weight-loss gadget at the bottom of the page that shows my progress. I only weigh myself once per week, so it will just creep along as I get closer to my goal. I'm anticipating the losses being smaller as the weeks go by, since I'm halfway to my goal now, but I'll update the ticker every Friday, even if I don't add a post that day.

Friday morning I have an appointment with my doctor. It will be interesting to see how (and if) my diet has changed my glucose levels (if at all) and what my doctor has in her bag of tricks for menopause symptoms. I'm finding that I'm generally happier (with some down times, obviously) so I'm thinking that the chances are good that my blood work will be less problematic than it was when I was last in her office. She did say that one of the options for dealing with night sweats and hot flashes was an anti-depressant. If we go that route, it couldn't come at a better time with job searching on the horizon. Having a little happy-pill backup sounds good to me right about now.

Ah, reality finally on the radar

Well, today it's finally hitting me just how hard it's going to be when I leave work at the end of the month. The depression is starting to hit, and the worry about getting another gig is rearing its ugly head. I knew the honeymoon period couldn't last forever, but still.

I have some online classes I need to take for prerequisites for the the classes at the outplacement company. I guess I should start doing something instead of just sitting around worrying about what's going to happen.

Well, the roller coaster ride is in gear now. Should only get more and more "fun" as we go.

Got to keep thinking positively. Gulp.

Networking the job search

The process of looking for a job is turning out to be very emotional, but not in the way I expected. I thought I would be depressed (I'm sure that there is some of that) and worried, but I'm finding that the prevalent cause for tears these days is the receipt of recommendations from the people with whom I work and have worked.

LinkedIn has an automated request form, making it easy to send a request for recommendation to any number of connections. The responses I've gotten have more than once moved me to tears. Whatever happens, I'm glad I had the impetus to send out those requests.

Tomorrow I meet with some outplacement folks at a company that GE hired to handle those of us who were let go. The company is Right Management, and they have a good reputation in the community. The premium package from them must cost companies a bundle, and is a very nice benefit in my severance package. I'm as lucky as someone can be who is without a job in this lousy economy.

What does the future hold? I have no idea.

Strange problem with ellipses

Used a few ellipses (of which I am excessively fond) in my last post, but the page wouldn't load when I got to work to view it. I took them out, and now I can see yesterday's post. I wonder what Blogger doesn't like about ellipses?

I feel like I spent yesterday holding my breath, blindly sending out S.O.S. messages to contacts and friends - more like messages in a bottle than serious job-search activities. Of course, they count, but still. Today, I'm trying to just breathe, relax, take a look around and figure out what I'm going to wear to the Puget Sound Business Journal Job Search meeting tomorrow. The good news is that I'm losing weight; the bad news is that it complicates my finding "business casual" clothes to wear to meetings and interviews.

My big plan for today is to get Shaynala to the vet to get her nails trimmed. Poor thing is sticking to the carpet. Luckily, they only charge 15 bucks for the effort. The other portion of the plan is to figure out what I need to do for tuition reimbursement (part of my severance package) so that I know when to pull the trigger on enrolling in the classes I want to take.

And breathing.

A Journey of 1000 miles

begins with a single step.

I started the week by submitting my resume to Disney Interactive Media Group (DIMG). They are in the same building as my current job, and I ran into someone I know who works there last year. We hooked up on LinkedIn, and I checked with him about submitting my resume, since I know some companies give employees kick-backs if they hire someone who was referred in (as opposed to paying recruiters, I suppose). Anyway, I just submitted it, so I don't know how long it will take to hear whether I passed the first hurdle.

I also took a look at our company's website to see if there are any open jobs. The only ones I could find for which I was somewhat qualified are really a better fit for a friend who's currently working in LA, but wants to move back up here. It wouldn't get him all the way to Seattle, since the jobs are in Yakima, but it would be a shorter (and cheaper) commute to Snohomish, where his family is already living in anticipation of his finding work up this way. I hope one of those jobs works for him. Didn't propel my search any, but I'd feel more than satisfied if it helped someone I care about to find something good.

I have a seminar downtown on Wednesday morning, and a meeting with an outplacement company on Friday. So, I'm not being my regular lazy self this time. That's an interesting change. I still have not taken Lester down to see what I can come up with for volunteering, but that will come in time.

Meanwhile, I'm just about finished my current Nero Wolfe mystery, and there's a new one waiting at the library for me. Also, today was a good calorie day, I had a fast walk from the pet store (wet food for Shaynala was on the list) after work, and the kitchen is officially closed until morning. I will treat myself to a cup of tea, but nothing more to eat. If it gets too hard, I'll just head up to bed and call it a night. Being on a diet is a lot like living like a cat - short periods of wakefulness and frequent naps. Whatever it takes.